What’s Been Happening…

Nothing.

Well, that’s not true. The only change is that we are currently working on paperwork for our foster license. That’s right, after so much discussion against being foster parents for our own personal reasons, we’ve come to the realization that it’s likely to be the best chance at us getting phone calls and a child.

That said, by the time we were assigned a licensing specialist (Z), Husband and I were both so sick that we kept putting off a home visit and filling out the paperwork. I finally printed the paperwork and started going through it on my own. Meanwhile, Z is using our Home Study to pull other information from.

..

Honestly though, after my first phone call with Z, I was a little more worried about what we are getting ourselves into. Every time I mention the licensing paperwork to the friends we’ve made along the way, I get similar reactions: disbelief. After 16+ months of being 100% certain that we do not want to foster, they’re surprised that we’ve changed our minds.

To a degree.

Our plan is to give Z the same criteria we have for adoption for our licensing, but give further criteria that we are willing to foster children with a very high chance of parental rights termination. She said when Placement starts calling, they don’t always review our criteria as it’s likely for emergency placements or a huge need. We do not want to take in every child that is offered to us. Does that make us selfish? Possibly. Will we end up changing our minds? Maybe. But for now, this is our plan.

We started talking about getting licensed during our visits with Ballerina. Both her CM and TH told us our best bet to push things along would be if we were licensed. That way she could move in with us immediately. It would have been a total immersion into parenting a teenager 24/7. Speaking of Ballerina, we still discuss her quite a lot. I knew it affected me quite a bit, but I didn’t realize how much it affected Husband too. He is the one that brings her up most frequently. I am of the mindset that if she didn’t want to be adopted, we should stop dwelling on her. That… is so much easier said than done.

I still search for kids nationwide, but no luck so far finding a good match.

In the meantime, I am keeping busy researching Doctorate programs for once Husband graduates from his Master’s program and finds a job.

In the meantime, won’t you pretty please help me out? Since it’s been over a month since my last post, my ranking on Top Mommy Blogs has plummeted. (No big surprise there.) Can you please click on this logo to help? The website has so much info on all aspects of parenting, but you don’t have to stick around if you don’t want. Thanks!

Please click! A visit a day boosts my blog ranking at Top Mommy Blogs - The Best Mommy Blog Directory Ever!
Filed under adoption, FLS, Foster Adoption, foster license, home visit, paperwork, Timeline | 1 Comment

Stagnant

I started writing this post last week and the only thing that’s changed is the last paragraph..

Going NowhereOur search is not going anywhere. In all honesty, I feel a little burned out constantly searching, seeing the same children, and submitting inquiries on them. I ask friends about their fosters and their foster’s siblings. I search nationwide sites. We discussed in vitro and pregnancy again. I… really don’t want to be pregnant. I – we – don’t want an infant. We want a child that can walk and talk and tell us what he or she wants. We want a child that spends his/her days in school learning and socializing with their friends while we are at work.

Sure, the older the foster child, the more likely to be problems from being in the system. We know. We are aware. We are prepared for it.

At least we are prepared in our minds. In reality, we don’t know. Well, I don’t. It’s been over a year since we decided to adopt. I’m exhausted.

There is a lot going on in our non-child lives right now – Husband in school, we are looking for a home to buy, and I am focusing my after-work time on pushing both my knitting and design businesses. My companies have been languishing for years as I focus on other projects. It’s nice to have something to think about constantly now especially since there is no child in our home or lives and we have no idea when there will be one.

Kiwi Crate
Filed under adoption, Foster Adoption, knitting, My child, RS Creative Solutions, Sheep2Skein | 1 Comment

Brief Non-Adoption Update

There is literally nothing at all happening at the moment with our adoption. Of all the kids I requested info on, I’ve received 4 case studies and are awaiting about half a dozen others. We’re reviewing them, but it’s difficult since the majority or them are out of Florida. The logistics of traveling several times to meet a potential child of ours is crazy expensive and we don’t have the time off from work and school to even begin to plan said trips.


We both knew foster care adoption wouldn’t be easy. But we’re dealing with a whole new set of issues that neither of us anticipated. It’s giving us time to reflect and evaluate if we want to get our foster care license as well.

But in the meantime, we are keeping busy by house hunting. Yes, something I swore I’d never do – looking to buy in South Florida. Right now it’s just dreaming as we clean up our (my) credit enough to qualify for a lower interest rate. As much as I love and adore the snow, the older I get and the more friends we make, the more I’m realizing that this little piece of hell on earth isn’t so bad.

Also, Husband is in school for his MBA so time is tight.

On the other hand, since he is now on a daylight schedule, we are getting used to each other again. For 4+ years of our life together (nearly half!), we saw each other at most 2 hours a day and partial weekends. He worked the night shift (9p-9a) and while I was at work, he was sleeping. I’d race home to make dinner, spend some time together then he’d go off to work.

The last month or so, it seems like a vacation. I’ve been slacking on the stuff I’d normally do at night after he’s leave for work – dishes, laundry, knitting – since we now spend a lot of time together… watching TV. We just finished Orange is the New Black (OMG!) and just started Weeds. Separately, he is watching House of Cards.

I hope you’re all well! If you missed any posts, just keep scrolling…


Kiwi Crate
Filed under adoption, household, miami, money, moving, school, steve | 2 Comments

Matchmaking and Adoption

I learned yesterday at work that when Orthodox Jews are “dating” (used loosely as it is more akin to matchmaking), they are not allowed to speak to other potential partners. Granted, this could be incorrect as I didn’t grill my friend about it. She was talking about a family member to another friend and mentioned that even though there was another very interesting young lady that he would be a good match with, he is currently committed to seeing if he is a match with another young lady. I asked why he wasn’t allowed to talk to both ladies and she said it just wasn’t done that way.

This got me to thinking about both “normal” dating (define that however it makes sense to you), job hunting and the matching process with our future child. There were definitely times when I dated 1-2 guys at a time until I determined which I liked better. OK fine, 2-3. But once I made the decision, I dropped everyone else. It didn’t always work out as I expected, but that’s how life works.

With jobs, when I applied to one that I [thought I] was perfect for, I would fixate on it. I’d do company research; learn about the employees, culture, upper management, office, local area, and more. All before scheduling an interview sometimes. When I’d apply for multiple jobs at a time, I would do the same for all of them. After all, I wanted to be super prepared to work there.

Not easy, but worth itAs much as we would have loved to be Ballerina’s parents, we have not heard anything in over a week since receiving the call from CW that she wanted to put a hold on being adopted at this time. For our peace of mind and hearts, we have moved on.

No, you didn’t miss the post about it. I didn’t post other than a few lines in my last post and with no details. I have been mourning (if you want to call it that) the loss of having her be a part of our family as our daughter. There will never be details posted as to the reasons on here or on FB although I might allude to it every so often. The lessons we learned with our first potential match will be carried forth throughout any future matches.

But back to my earlier point of “dating” one person at a time. With the adoption matching process, it feels strange to request information on several children at a time. We lucked out with how quickly things progressed with Ballerina and how well of a match we were with her. We really did. And even though it didn’t work out, it was still pretty smooth at first. Strange, yes. But we did it. Over the weekend I submitted inquiries on several children from across the country on AdoptUSKids.org. Matching when the child isn’t local is different and potentially difficult, but for the right child for our family, we are willing to do whatever it takes… within reason, of course.

And so begins the next part of our journey as we actively try to find our son or daughter from foster care.

Wish us luck!

Filed under adoption, Ballerina, Foster Adoption, My child | 1 Comment

People Question…

It Takes a Village to Adopt a ChildPeople question why I blog. I have been blogging on different platforms since 2000. I do it for myself. For my well-being. To share my story.

People question if I/we are adopting to just get a child. Yes, of course. We want a son or daughter. Or both. But also to raise them and make them even more amazing little people.

People question why my blog is all “me”, “my”, and “I”. Well… do you see a child placed in our home? I certainly don’t.

People question if I truly want a child or just the experience. Let me tell you, this experience is so difficult and emotionally taxing, so it’s definitely not for that. I want a child. We want a child. We want to be parents together.

People question how I am so open about everything. What do I have to hide? Don’t read it if you think I’m too open or if it makes you uncomfortable.

People question why I post so much about the adoption process. If it helps one person then it’s all worth it. Seriously. I felt completely lost at the beginning and would have loved to read a real story of someone’s process while I was going through it. So many adoption blogs are international, private, and/or infant. I’m not saying mine is unique, but also, that’s exactly what I’m saying.

People question what will happen if our future child reads this. Is that a bad thing? I have nicknames for everyone that needs their identity protected. It also shows just how much we want them and how far we’ve come to be their parents.

People question why we’re not longer visiting with Ballerina. It’s not a story to tell on a public forum. There are so many details and reasons, but the main reason is bc she no longer wants it. As a teenager, she had every right to put on the brakes for any reason and she did.

People question how I’m handling the loss of a potential placement. Poorly. I am even more emotional these days. Mostly bc we don’t know why. We did everything right as far as we can tell. We followed all the proper procedures. We were a great fit with her and for her. We would have rocked her 48+ months until she turned 18 and helped her in so many ways.

We don’t know if she will change her mind and want to visit with us again, but we’re not banking on it. It is honestly easier that way as much as it hurts.

People tell me that I am amazing for wanting to adopt an older child. Thanks. But we’re not doing it to be amazing. We’re doing it to complete our family in a way that makes sense to us.

And finally, to the people that never (or almost never) question my sanity, reasons and motives for doing all of the above, you’re awesome! Thank you for standing by our sides and enjoying reading about our journey. This has already been a 14 month journey and there is no end in sight. Even if we were to finalize an adoption tomorrow, I wouldn’t give up all the truly amazing friends I have made along the way. I honestly don’t know how we would get through this whole thing without the support of our family, friends, and new friends.

Filed under adoption, blog focus, Blogging, Foster Adoption, knowledge, support group | 1 Comment

NFPA/FSFAPA Conference & Ballerina

Untitled-1We had an amazing time this past weekend at the NFPA/ FSFAPA Conference. Between meeting folks from across the nation, to playing in the pool with our friends kids, seeing old friends and family, and all the sessions… And not to mention the pillows. OMW the pillows. My bed had 5 of the softest, fluffiest pillows.

But I digress. We both learned a lot about ourselves, the process, and how we can help to empower our future child/ren. We also had 9-10 hours stuck in a car together plus all the down time to talk and to discuss Ballerina. As an aside, we must’ve gotten the “how are things going” question about a dozen times and asked why we hadn’t brought her with us at least twice. We honestly didn’t know that was a possibility.

We decided that yes, we absolutely want to adopt her. We have so much to offer her to help make her way into adulthood in just a few short years. 54-ish months to be exact. (Why is it that things in months sound so much shorter?) We discussed her school, speculated on the kinds of books she liked to read, how she’s spending the summer, her hobbies, family trips we’d take, high school, colleges, and more. Then we questioned if she even wanted to live with us. Wanted to be our daughter.

That question still plagues me. I hope she does. WE hope.

I know in my past posts, I seemed ambivalent about that. But it’s a yes. We want her in our family. We want her to be our daughter.

But in the end, if this doesn’t work out, we only want the best for her. And I genuinely hope she knows that.

We’re told this process can take months and that she (or we) can decide at any time not to move forward. We’ve been asked repeatedly if we are sure. But in the meantime, we are going to do our best to show her that we do want to be her parents.

People question why I write and why I put my entire life out there. Aside from not having anything to hide, it’s cathartic. Writing about my life and our process really helps me. Getting it all out there helps. Sure, there will always be critics and folks that tell me to close the book, stop oversharing, that no one cares. To those people, I say… then don’t read it. I’m not going to change my life to suit you. Unsubscribe, unfollow, block me. I don’t care.

Filed under adoption, Ballerina, being positive, Blogging, conferences, Foster Adoption, knowledge, My child, play dates | 1 Comment

3rd Visit with Ballerina

ballerinaIt’s amazing what one week and one extra visit can do.

We were supposed to meet Ballerina and TH on Sunday at 1:30 for a 1:40 movie. I say “supposed to” bc they were 2 hours late, but honestly, that’s not a story for the blog. We’ve reported it through all the channels both as it was happening and after the fact. Let’s just say that it has given us a lot to think on about this whole process.

While we waited, we were able to get a refund on our movie tickets and had lunch at Fridays. We also saw a friend that we haven’t seen in years (omg has it been that long?!) walking around the mall with her new husband and family. We also had plenty of time to figure out what we were going to do. And I don’t just mean on our play date. We questioned – a lot – if she really wanted this. From us.

We assumed that she had to go to church in the morning which is why he didn’t pick her up until 1:30. Come to find out at the end of our play date that she didn’t go to church. We were both beyond pissed bc we tried meeting them at 11am. TH told us they were running errands all day since his agency knew he was working anyhow.

We are beyond frustrated with this whole process and sadly, since our earlier frustrations, it’s only marginally better. If it wasn’t bad enough that the home study process was killing us, this definitely is. And unfortunately we don’t know how much of it was her not wanting to spend time with us and how much of it was him taking a long time running errands.

By the time they arrived, we’d pretty much given up and are planning on moving on to the next child. But then, of course, we had the best play date so far and I think it was because we decided we were going to give up and were more relaxed. I think she felt it because she was laughing right along with us and seemed a little bit more open. “It” being our not trying to force a relationship with her.

For the first maybe :30 I was pissed. So pissed. I wasn’t asking any questions and barely talking. We went to Hot Topic and she got what she needed to buy for her roommate. We love this store and she seems to as well. TH is not a fan of it at all. By the time we left there, I was feeling better. The saleslady asked Ballerina a question and she turned to me so I thought that was a little ask for help. Who knows. Maybe she just doesn’t like strangers.

At the end of our play date, we gave her my business card with Husband’s name and number written on the back. Essentially, we are leaving it up to her if she wants to see us again. It is in her hands. We will be in touch with her CW, but won’t be seeing Ballerina for at least 2 weeks. We are out of town next weekend for the NFPA conference which we told them about so they are aware. What she decides to do in terms of contacting us is up to her. So yes, she very well could be reading this right now and every other post that I have written about her. (Hi Ballerina! I hope you like your nickname.)

I think, as a parent, it’s very important for your children to know what you are feeling towards them. I know that she is not our child yet but I’m still peeved and so is Husband. We’ve had a few days, many conversations and many phone calls to discuss and reflect on our relationship with her to this point. We want to adopt her. We haven’t made a definitive decision bc we truly cannot blame her for what is happening. Could their lateness partly have been her fault? Maybe. But she is a child. Yes, at [REDACTED] years old, she is still a child regardless of what anyone says. She may be a teenager, but hasn’t had parental figures helping to mold and guide her in several years into adulthood. She needs parents to help her make decisions between right and wrong. She needs to know what is and isn’t appropriate. Sure, she is a genius, but book smarts only go so far. Whatever does happen, we only want the best for her be it as our daughter or part of another family.

ETA, 2:35pm, 6/3/14 – It’s been brought to my attention that, based on this post, it looks like we’re deciding whether or not to adopt Ballerina bc they were 2 hours late. That’s not the case at all. Keep in mind that this is a public forum and I cannot and will not post every little thing that’s happened, been done, been said, etc. Any misgivings we’re feeling are for specific reasons based on everything involved with this procedure. One event/ chain of events will not derail us into saying no. Everything about this whole process involves so much emotion, thinking, feelings, etc that putting it in writing is really difficult. Thanks for reading about our story!!

******

So, I was voice posting this while driving to the train station yesterday morning. And when I finished I turned the radio on and this song came on. How appropriate! I mean aside from it being about romantic love…

Not A Bad Thing by Justin Timberlake

I know people make promises all the time
Then they turn right around and break them
When someone cuts your heart open with a knife and you’re bleeding
But I could be that guy to heal it over time
And I won’t stop until you believe it
‘Cause baby you’re worth it

[...]
If I had a pair of wings
I’d pick you up and fly you far away from here
And you’d put your worries upon my shoulders, my dear
Now I know I can’t save you
From the troubles of the world
And this sounds like such a silly thing
But if I could I’d fly you away
On a big old pair of wings

Filed under adoption, Ballerina, child safety, conferences, Foster Adoption, play dates, support group | 2 Comments

Moving Forward

ballerinaI spoke to both TH and CW last night about Ballerina. We have our 3rd play date on Sunday, but aside from picking up the pottery, not sure yet. We’re going to come up with some ideas and see what she wants to do.

CW said everything sounded great – she had also spoken to TH – and I told her we are ready to move forward towards adopting Ballerina.

!!!!!!!

Husband and I have been non-stop discussing everything involved and feel good about our decision. There is uncertainty not really knowing how Ballerina is feeling about us, but aside from “time” we don’t know how else to truly know. TH says she’s happy and excited, but we want to hear it from her. Does that make sense? We know they talk a lot and she trusts him, but we’ll be her parents and we hope that she will open up to us more about our combined future.

We are still making assumptions about her based on being a teenager, super shy, scared of rejection, etc, etc, etc and none of them are really fair. We cannot generalize how we think she feels when she is a totally unique kid. I mean, if she turns out being the kind of teenager I was, we are golden. However, if she’s like my best friend, well, we’re in trouble. (Love you, my Zeffer!)

A-N-Y-W-A-Y… back to the CW’s call. She said we should do a few more weekends of supervised visits. It will take her a few weeks to get the paperwork done and approved for us to have unsupervised visits anyhow. Then she asked me if I could help her get a copy of our signed home study.

Um, what?

I thought we were the only ones that didn’t have it! Silly me, I thought when we were told our home study had been sent to Our Kids, that it meant the completed and signed one. She said without the signature, we cannot move forward as she can’t submit the unsigned one to the judge.

Grrrrr!

So this morning I sent off a very nice email requesting for FRC to please send the signed home study to CW as we had been matched and would like to move forward. And 3 minutes later received emails saying both our ACW and her supervisor were out of the office until next Tuesday.

Patience is SO not a virtue that I willingly possess.

Filed under ACW, adoption, Ballerina, Foster Adoption, home study, My child, Other Agencies, paperwork, play dates, Timeline | 2 Comments

Impromptu Playdate #2 with Ballerina

We crashed pretty hard Saturday night very early for both of us. To say it was an emotionally draining day would be putting it quite mildly. After all, it’s not every day that you get to spend several hours with a child that might be your daughter in the future.

OMW I can’t even write that without tearing up. Daughter.

ballerinaYesterday we woke up, dealt with what we needed to deal with then got out of the house to go walk around the mall. On the way there, we called Ballerina’s therapist (TH) to see if there was any way possible to see her again. About 45 minutes later after our first round around the [closed] mall, TH called back and said he’d see if he could coordinate it. About 15 minutes later he called back and said we could meet them in 2 hours. Great, we had time to chill and to take our lunch leftovers back home.

Our first stop was to get Ballerina some lunch, so we went to Johnny Rockets. We all got milkshakes, I had sweet potato fries, and Ballerina and TH had lunch. There was a balloon guy walking around and he called Husband “dad” when he asked if she wanted a balloon animal. She didn’t. I’m not sure if TH or B caught it, but we did! I also found out that she’s scared of balloons bc they pop and startle her. Of course while we were there, one popped and she jumped. She’d never had sweet potato fries and I offered for her to try mine. Apparently they taste like cake. I was seated across from her and we were trying to keep up the conversation but it was awkward and really loud in there. We would just look at each other then she’d get all shy and grin and hide behind her hands. Adorbs.

After lunch, we went to Hot Topic and she picked out a [Supernatural] Dean keychain and a Dean and Sam pin for herself and kept pointing out Doctor Who things for me. I picked out a car magnet and asked her which pin I should get. My choices were a Muggle pin, Whovian pin or Minion pin. She said to get the Whovian one bc I love it. Smart kid! I was holding the Dean keychain and she was going on and on about how he’s her future husband. I made a comment that I was holding her future in my hands… in more ways than one. Not sure the others picked up on that.

Afterwards we walked down to the Sanrio store. When we were walking around earlier, we spotted a sign on their door that said straight A students get 15% discounts and snapped a photo to show her. She was so excited bc she is a straight A student and loves Hello Kitty. I checked my phone and saw several missed calls and texts while Husband walked around with her. We were trying to give her some space but she was staying pretty close.

She showed TH her pin and keychain – he didn’t see us buy them – and he made a comment that [Crush] is out of the picture apparently. Of course, we had to ask her who he was. She got this big grin on her face and took out her phone to show us his photo. She showed me first and he was sitting with a dog. I told her Husband was going to mention the dog. He did. First thing. Crush is a cute kid, attends her school and they have 3 classes together.

Um, I never told my parents about my crushes, boyfriends, etc. they were lucky to know my friends names. They certainly never saw photos!

From Sanrio, we walked down to Game Stop to look at Wii and computer games. Ballerina and Husband bonded over games they’d both played and I picked out things that looked interesting. TH told us her ride was heading to the mall to pick her up so if we weren’t buying anything, we should head to the meeting point.

While we walked, I was in front with her and told her that this was her life too and, while we want to keep hanging out with and getting to know her, she had to be OK with it as well. I made sure she understood that. Her life. Our life. Everyone had to be good with it. She said she was. I said we had no plans next weekend if she wanted to see us again. She said she did. I kept getting that elusive smile of hers. What a gem it is!

She was exhausted – we all were – and sorta napped while we waited. I may have snapped a photo of her with her head on the table and hair covering her face. I may have posted it on my [private and very locked down] FB. Then again, maybe not. ;) The group home van came to pick her up and she crawled into the back seat. No hugs today. But when they came back around the parking lot, her little arm waved at us from the back. [I think it was hers, but Husband says it was another girl's arm.]

We sat there for a while talking to TH about Ballerina and the next steps. We’ve now had 2 supervised visits with him present. He is going to recommend that we be allowed to do unsupervised visits and pick her up and drop her off for some semblance of normalcy. He also suggested that we bring her to our house so she can see it and see her room. I don’t think the visit was supposed to focus on us staying here for a long time, just to show her then go do other stuff. Whatever the case, it means a deep and thorough cleaning as her room is currently storing boxes since we had no idea how long this process as going to take.

As we were leaving, he asked if we’d thought about names. He said calling us mom and dad [shiver. gulp.] was far too soon, but what would we like her to call us. I said “uh, Becca and Steve?” which I thought was a given, but whatever. He said he’d bring that up with her in their next session. Mom. Dad. Eeep!

Filed under adoption, Ballerina, chosen family, Doctor Who, Foster Adoption, My child, play dates, Potter | Leave a comment

Play Date with Ballerina – the First of Many to Come!

ballerinaHi! I didn’t post after the CW and CM visit, but Thursday afternoon, Husband and I decided to meet Ballerina this morning. OMFG. I have been a ball of knots and nerves since we made the plans. We decided to go paint pottery figuring we could talk or not talk while painting.

We had a fantastic time!!

We started off the day at 7am even though my alarm was set for 9. Nerves. Nerves all around. While waffling on what to wear, Husband started playing fun music so we were dancing around the house in a wild frenzy. It was the perfect thing to help relax our nerves. I opted for a non-fangirl shirt which was, quite frankly, difficult. I have so many that they outnumber every other shirt in my closet. Anyhow, we planned on breakfast out our favorite diner, but the wait was just too long so we went to McDonald’s.

The pottery place opened at 11 and we were set to meet there at 11:15. We were there for about 20 minutes before they arrived. I was actually scared to pick up the pieces bc my hands were shaking so much! Husband was sitting up front and had started painting when he yelled back to me that they were there.

Poor Ballerina was so scared that she just stood in the doorway for several long minutes paralyzed with fear. We talked, tried to calm her then finally I said I was going back to pick my piece and he went back to painting. I did not want to rush this! We were all nervous as it was. I went back and talked to TH - this was a “therapeutic visit” – and he said she was really excited but so nervous. Yep, I get that. We were still talking when she came back and said she was ready now so we picked out a piece for her. She was deciding between a Hello Kitty figurine and a penguin piggy bank. I helped her debate the merits of both and she picked the penguin so she could save her money in it. <3

We picked paints, I grabbed a yarn bowl then we settled in at the table with Husband. The 3 of us proceeded to chat, paint, and learn about each other for the better part of 3 hours. The chaperones went “on a walk” but I could see them peeking around the corner to see how we were doing. When they came back, Ballerina said “oh do I know you? Who are you?” which I took to be a good sign that she was comfortable with us. While this was a supervised visit, they wanted to make sure we were able to get to know each other. For most of the time, they were in the back room.


Her penguin (Ms. Penguina), his drawing (Mr. Penguino), my yarn bowl and his chili bowl.
After we finished, we decided to across the highway to grab some lunch. She was really quiet, but sat next to me again. We were mostly talking to the chaperones, but still involving her. It seemed like she liked us, but was still super shy about everything that was happening. We talked about all the cool things to do in Miami – the zoo, Jungle Island, museums, the beach, etc – and for future visits.

As we were leaving, she looked sad and told me that it was her disappointed face. I wrapped my arm around her back and said this wasn’t the last time she was seeing us then steered her through the door. At the cars we gave her hugs then went our separate ways. TH told us that the ball is in our court, but we want it in hers too. We have tentative plans for next weekend but only if she wants to hang out with us again. This is her life and future too.

As much as we want this, it would not be fair to force anything upon her – or any child – if they were unsure or didn’t want it. I know that we made the decision to grow our family through adoption, but it didn’t fully click until we were matched what a huge and amazing decision this is for her as well. She is old enough to know and comprehend everything that is happening and decide “do I want these total strangers to be my new parents?” and in a relatively short time too. Yes, of course she has therapists, case workers and other adults helping her with the process as we have the same people plus our huge support system.

Honestly, I cannot imagine what thoughts must be going through her mind right now. I hope with all my heart and soul that she wants to see us again and move forward, but it is a huge and major decision to make in her young life.

Filed under 1-adoption posts, adoption, Ballerina, chosen family, crafty, Foster Adoption, play dates | 3 Comments
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