Jun252013

Mysterious Phone Call

I mentioned a phone call yesterday on FB that got me more excited about our adoption journey then I have been. Things have been relatively quiet as our orientation class is this weekend [holy shnikes it’s in 4 days!] and not much is really going on. Sure, I’ve been perusing the AdoptUSKids website for my future babies and it’s depressing as hell reading their stories and seeing their sweet little faces.

But anyhow, the phone call. I was driving home and don’t normally answer unfamiliar numbers, but I had called someone earlier and thought she was returning my call. Nope, it was someone from Our Kids that had discovered my blog and read everything – including my frustrations – and passed it along to several other people. Yeah, I checked my site stats last night and there were 40 visits to that post. Whaaaaaaaaat?

We talked for a while and she promised to send me an email with all her contact information for me to call anytime with questions. She sent the email and CC’d a ton of amazingly helpful people.

One specific thing I asked her about was the 3 bedroom thing, but she wasn’t certain. It’s on my list to ask on Saturday. But, regardless, I will finally be claiming the bunkbeds that I laid claim to many years ago. ~~I’m trying to find a picture of it (or have one sent to me) to post bc they’re awesome!~~ The bunk beds! My father built these for my brothers a million years ago.

Clearly they’re being used for storage these days at my folks house. 🙂

Things happen for a reason. We were meant to have these stumbling blocks. She and I discussed this and I firmly believe it.

And…

I don’t believe in coincidences. She has the same name as a good friend of mine whose birthday was yesterday. I mentioned this to her as well… Then texted my friend afterwards to tell her the funny.

4 days. 4. More. Days. Until. Orientation…!

Jun242013

The Fosters

image credit

Have you seen the new ABCFamily show “The Fosters” yet? You really should. I am already in love with the 2 moms and 5 kids – 1 biological, 2 adopted siblings and 2 foster siblings – and even one of the mom’s ex-husband.

It’s obviously about foster care and adoption and kinda eye opening for me. Sure, we aren’t adopting teenagers, but we are hoping to adopt siblings. The foster kids – Callie and Jude – are adorable together. She really takes care of him and they love each other so much. That is the reason we want siblings… so they will always keep an eye on each other. The adopted kids – twins Mariana and Jesus – are, well, you know they love each other, but they don’t seem to like each other most of the time. Maybe bc she’s a catty teen girl and he’s a horny teen boy. Who knows? The moms – Lena and Stef – are so sweet together and great moms to all 5 kids. And Brandon is an awesome big brother to the younger 4 kids.

Seriously, you should watch this show. It comes on Mondays at 9pm on ABC Family.

Jun202013

A Milestone in US Foster Care

The graphic below was posted on Facebook today via AdoptUSKids. They are amazing and have such a wealth of information for anyone in any state looking to become foster parents or adopt.

I did actually wonder why there were so few children in the photolistings. There are 104,000 children in foster care available for adoption, and yet only 4,500 of them are photolisted. Even those 4,500 kids are heartbreaking to view. Yeah, I check out the listings sometimes out of sheer torture for my poor heart.

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For children in foster care available for adoption, and for whom no adoptive family has been identified, the AdoptUSKids national photolisting website serves as a tool for connecting their caseworkers with prospective adoptive families. Over the last decade, 20,000 children previously photolisted on AdoptUSKids have been placed with adoptive families. AdoptUSKids is a service of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and Administration for Children and Families.

Jun192013

Orientation… and Books

I can finally count the number of days until our orientation on my fingers. And not use any twice!

10 glorious days until this adoption process becomes a reality.

Every time I tell someone at work that we’re adopting, they’re so happy and excited for us. It’s amazing to see/ hear the different responses and reactions that I’m getting. Also, I love hearing the “I’m adopted” stories from friends. It’s so heartwarming to know that we aren’t alone in this journey.

I was in a different Barnes & Noble tonight buying some awesome books for our 11year old cousin and asked the sales folks where the adoption books were. They had three. I asked where the grandparents books were. They had one. Ugh. Really? I was considering getting a book and giving it to my parents at their anniversary dinner – 42! – as an opening to discuss our adoption plans. However, the lack of books postponed it yet again. Maybe I’m just not looking forward to hearing that we should just “have our own babies” again. Even if I could get pregnant, we would still be adopting.

Jun132013

We’re Official(ly signed up)!

(If you’re so inclined to read it, clicking makes it much larger)

This arrived sometime in the last week while we were out of town.

It’s our official invitation to the orientation for foster or adoptive parents.

Thank Ood that it arrived. Now I can cancel the original one on the 20th with the agency that didn’t want to work with us. At. All.

(That’s right, I said “Thank Ood” bc I’m a Doctor Who geek.)

Jun042013

Holiday Cards… It’s only June!

I just got choked up thinking about our Christmas card this year. We haven’t sent one in a while, but this year we’ll definitely be sending them out. I was driving home from work when I started thinking about a Christmas card with me, Steve, and our kids. And all the sudden I got choked up and tears sprang into my eyes.

I was also thinking about how I would have the kids posing with their backs to the camera or in the shadows so I can actually post pictures of them on Facebook and other social media sites. And actually, on here! Thinking of posing them with their hands and arms so that they made like big shadow heart on the ground and I can post that. From what I understand, we aren’t allowed to post pictures of their faces until they are legally our children.

I told one of the parents from school today whom I absolutely adore and she has been so amazing to me this past year and a half. She was so excited that I think she almost started crying when I told her we were adopting.

Kids. Family. I’m going to be a mommy.

Classes countdown: 25 days!

May312013

We have class! For adoption, that is…

Leave it to me to be all gung ho about starting the adoption blog then no post for 2 weeks. What on earth happened?

The Miami-Dade foster agencies happened. I scoured their websites and called and emailed all 5 agencies. I tried to find someone that would speak to me. Tried to find an agency that was willing to register us for their PRIDE classes. My emails were rejected, sent out of office notifications, and forwarded on to others. My voicemails went unreturned.

Nothing. Well, nothing substantial.

So I gave up. Ok, we can’t start classes until October with CHS? Fine. I tried everything including guilt to get them to let us into the sooner classes since their staff screwed up. Nothing except attitude.

I posted to the Our Kids Facebook page asking questions and got a phone number of a gentleman to call. He was not only helpful, but gave me additional names. But still no classes.

I was getting more and more frustrated with the system down here. After all, we have been actively trying to get information on adopting for 6 weeks. My friend in Orlando contacted an agency after us and was given so much information so quickly that I felt even more disenchanted by the system. (She and her husband have their orientation next week- yay!)

Finally… FINALLY… on Tuesday I got an email from FRC with attachments and a note saying their orientation is June 29th and the classes begin in July. And could we please fill out the forms and get them back to her. I had literally just been ranting to Steve about the horrible system in place and no one wanting to help us adopt and get some kids out of the system. Do they not want kids in safe and permanent homes? What is going on here??

I took Lola outside, popped open my Gmail app and starting freaking out. Right there was an email, sent after hours, from a woman at FRC with the blessed information. I scanned through the attachments and raced back inside to tell him that we finally had good news.

The next day I filled out the paperwork and him to sign it. Yesterday I faxed it back to her. She replied stating that their Orientation class is June 29th and the 10-week PRIDE classes begin on July 16th from 6-9pm. That means they end the day after my birthday. BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!

Referring to my post on the steps to adoption, we should be doing our first Home Visit during the week of August 4th. The second would be in mid-September. We feasibly could have a child (children) in our home by Christmas. That prospect makes me want to rush out and start Christmas shopping!

But also, it means we need to seriously ramp up the apartment hunting and cleaning out the guest bedroom.

May172013

10 Steps to Adoption

I pulled this information off a local agency site in Miami-Dade county, FL. The steps may be the same in other counties and states, but definitely check with your local agency. I’m quite happy that I found this page as I did not receive any of this information when I called to schedule our Orientation classes. I was searching for information on classes when I stumbled upon this page. Interestingly enough, I found that other states post everything online from their class schedules, to what to expect with the process and Miami has nothing. Strange.

Even when I was speaking with the Adoption Advocate, I wasn’t given this type of timeline. She said the folks over at the Children’s Home Society would give me all the details. When I spoke to a friend in Orlando also going through foster-adoption, she showed me her schedule. Quite frankly, I was baffled that she had so much information. She said they even spoke to her at length about her and her husband and their adoption plans. Baffled. No one from the state has spoken to me so far about our plan.

2 days ago, I posted onto the Our Kids Facebook page and they’ve been in touch back and forth and just gave me the direct line and cell phone number of a person I can contact to get way more details. It’s a relief to finally have answers. I may not be fully organized in the rest of my life, but this is different. Bringing a new person (people) into our family is a huge deal and I’d think they’d want to give us too much info rather then not enough. After I speak to him, I’ll be sure to post everything I find out.

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Below are 10 basic steps of adopting a child. Review these steps closely and see if adoption is right for you.

1. Attend the orientation meeting and bring the following documentation:
— Driver License
— Social Security Cards of all members in the family.
— Marriage Certificate if applicants are living together.
— Pictures of your family and your home.

2. Register for MAPP Training at 305-779-9609.

3. First adoption home visit. The visit will occur after you complete the 3rd session of MAPP training.

4. Second adoption home visit: This visit occurs after you complete the MAPP training.

5. Matching process: the adoption unit and your family gather to make a decision about the child that will best match your family.

6. Getting-to-know-process: several child studies with pictures are presented to the family.

7. A blind visit is arranged and parents meet the child in a non-challenged and friendly environment.

8. The family will interview with the selected child’s therapist, case manager , teachers, foster parents and other significant people in the child’s life.

9. The family and the case manager arrange a visit plan that gradually introduces the child to the family members, the home and their community.

10. The family and the agency agree on a placement plan that gradually moves the child into the family, their school and the community.

THE PLACEMENT:
The family signs documentation agreeing to receive the child in their family for the purpose of adoption. The state agrees to subsidize the adoption, and provide Medicaid to cover the child’s health needs. CHARLEE shares custody with the parents for a minimum of 90 days and until both parties agree to finalize the adoption. CHARLEE also provides services to the family such as individual and family therapy to help in the process.

FINALIZATION:
CHARLEE and the parents agree that the family is ready to accept permanent responsibility for the child, and they are ready to commit to such responsibility before a judge.

This and so much more can be found on the CHARLEE website.

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