Foster Adoption

Jun272013

24/7 Foster/Adoption Support Line

I thought long and hard about posting the contents of the emails I’ve received since my mysterious phone call, and decided to do it. For any other prospective foster or adoptive parents out there getting lost in the system and thinking no one cares, here’s proof that there are some truly amazing people in the system.

I have heard about and seen posting of this new outreach number and am quite impressed by the initiative. With so many children in the foster care system, it has been quite disheartening to have such a terrible bunch of experiences just getting information.

Honestly, I am still surprised that my little blog has been read by some folks that will hopefully help make our journey easier.

Also, 2 more days. Or rather, in 2 days, we will be almost done with our Adoption Orientation.

image source: me. 🙂

From KB (the phone caller)

Hi Becca,

It was so nice speaking with you. As I said on the phone I wanted you to have my cell phone number. The number is 786-xxx-xxxx. I am so sorry that you had such a frustrating time getting looped into a PRIDE class, but I am happy that you will have your orientation on Saturday. I am sure you will be able to get all the answers to your questions then, but if for any reason you feel that you need additional supports I have copied in the most amazing team one can ever have. Copied on this email are [TP], [MP], [SW] and [RS].

[TP] is the current President of the State Wide Foster and Adoptive Parent Conference. She is also the person that monitors the Foster/Adoption support line and is a great resource as she has decades of experience as both a foster and adoptive parent.

[MP] is the current President of the South Florida Foster and Adoptive Parent Association and is a mentor to our new foster parents. I know she would love to have you at one of their meetings and can also help to answer your questions from a fellow foster parent perspective.

Also on this email you will find [SW]. She oversees our licensing department at Our Kids and is a wealth of knowledge and supports.

Finally I have copied [RS] on this email. She is our Quality Parenting Initiative program manager and is a great person to know and help you if needed.

Again I am so sorry that you had such a hard time getting connected to an agency but I am confident that Family Resource Center will be a great place for you.

So nice speaking to you again and please let me know if you ever need anything.

+++++

From SP:

Thank you [KB].

Becca – We are all very disheartened by your experience with trying to get into classes here in Miami. We are working very diligently to change our system so that other people do not have this same experience. We have initiated a new informational number for people to call and have been advertising in several different mediums.

The number that interested people should call is 855-786-KIDS(5437). We also have an email address that people can submit inquiries to. It is fosterfamily@ourkids.us.

We have implemented these because of some of the things you experienced – numerous agencies to call and difficulty in reaching someone. The phone line is answered 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. The initial call is to gather information and share basic information about becoming a foster parent. The information is then shared with our recruitment staff. This staff person also monitors the email inquiries and calls the interested parties within 1 business day of receiving the information (call or email). We then refer to the agencies in their area and follow up with both the agency and the prospective foster parent within a week of the initial call (5 business days). This is so we can determine what the experience was for the prospective foster parent with the agencies.

I am sharing all this with you as people who may be interested in becoming foster or adoptive parents are likely reading your blog and I hope that you will share this contact information so we can make sure that none of them have the same experience that you had. I appreciate that you are sharing your very personal experience with the world and hope that we can make the rest of the journey less stressful and frustrating for you and your husband.

Jun252013

Mysterious Phone Call

I mentioned a phone call yesterday on FB that got me more excited about our adoption journey then I have been. Things have been relatively quiet as our orientation class is this weekend [holy shnikes it’s in 4 days!] and not much is really going on. Sure, I’ve been perusing the AdoptUSKids website for my future babies and it’s depressing as hell reading their stories and seeing their sweet little faces.

But anyhow, the phone call. I was driving home and don’t normally answer unfamiliar numbers, but I had called someone earlier and thought she was returning my call. Nope, it was someone from Our Kids that had discovered my blog and read everything – including my frustrations – and passed it along to several other people. Yeah, I checked my site stats last night and there were 40 visits to that post. Whaaaaaaaaat?

We talked for a while and she promised to send me an email with all her contact information for me to call anytime with questions. She sent the email and CC’d a ton of amazingly helpful people.

One specific thing I asked her about was the 3 bedroom thing, but she wasn’t certain. It’s on my list to ask on Saturday. But, regardless, I will finally be claiming the bunkbeds that I laid claim to many years ago. ~~I’m trying to find a picture of it (or have one sent to me) to post bc they’re awesome!~~ The bunk beds! My father built these for my brothers a million years ago.

Clearly they’re being used for storage these days at my folks house. 🙂

Things happen for a reason. We were meant to have these stumbling blocks. She and I discussed this and I firmly believe it.

And…

I don’t believe in coincidences. She has the same name as a good friend of mine whose birthday was yesterday. I mentioned this to her as well… Then texted my friend afterwards to tell her the funny.

4 days. 4. More. Days. Until. Orientation…!

Jun242013

The Fosters

image credit

Have you seen the new ABCFamily show “The Fosters” yet? You really should. I am already in love with the 2 moms and 5 kids – 1 biological, 2 adopted siblings and 2 foster siblings – and even one of the mom’s ex-husband.

It’s obviously about foster care and adoption and kinda eye opening for me. Sure, we aren’t adopting teenagers, but we are hoping to adopt siblings. The foster kids – Callie and Jude – are adorable together. She really takes care of him and they love each other so much. That is the reason we want siblings… so they will always keep an eye on each other. The adopted kids – twins Mariana and Jesus – are, well, you know they love each other, but they don’t seem to like each other most of the time. Maybe bc she’s a catty teen girl and he’s a horny teen boy. Who knows? The moms – Lena and Stef – are so sweet together and great moms to all 5 kids. And Brandon is an awesome big brother to the younger 4 kids.

Seriously, you should watch this show. It comes on Mondays at 9pm on ABC Family.

Jun202013

A Milestone in US Foster Care

The graphic below was posted on Facebook today via AdoptUSKids. They are amazing and have such a wealth of information for anyone in any state looking to become foster parents or adopt.

I did actually wonder why there were so few children in the photolistings. There are 104,000 children in foster care available for adoption, and yet only 4,500 of them are photolisted. Even those 4,500 kids are heartbreaking to view. Yeah, I check out the listings sometimes out of sheer torture for my poor heart.

+++++

For children in foster care available for adoption, and for whom no adoptive family has been identified, the AdoptUSKids national photolisting website serves as a tool for connecting their caseworkers with prospective adoptive families. Over the last decade, 20,000 children previously photolisted on AdoptUSKids have been placed with adoptive families. AdoptUSKids is a service of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and Administration for Children and Families.

Jun192013

Orientation… and Books

I can finally count the number of days until our orientation on my fingers. And not use any twice!

10 glorious days until this adoption process becomes a reality.

Every time I tell someone at work that we’re adopting, they’re so happy and excited for us. It’s amazing to see/ hear the different responses and reactions that I’m getting. Also, I love hearing the “I’m adopted” stories from friends. It’s so heartwarming to know that we aren’t alone in this journey.

I was in a different Barnes & Noble tonight buying some awesome books for our 11year old cousin and asked the sales folks where the adoption books were. They had three. I asked where the grandparents books were. They had one. Ugh. Really? I was considering getting a book and giving it to my parents at their anniversary dinner – 42! – as an opening to discuss our adoption plans. However, the lack of books postponed it yet again. Maybe I’m just not looking forward to hearing that we should just “have our own babies” again. Even if I could get pregnant, we would still be adopting.

Jun132013

We’re Official(ly signed up)!

(If you’re so inclined to read it, clicking makes it much larger)

This arrived sometime in the last week while we were out of town.

It’s our official invitation to the orientation for foster or adoptive parents.

Thank Ood that it arrived. Now I can cancel the original one on the 20th with the agency that didn’t want to work with us. At. All.

(That’s right, I said “Thank Ood” bc I’m a Doctor Who geek.)

Jun042013

Holiday Cards… It’s only June!

I just got choked up thinking about our Christmas card this year. We haven’t sent one in a while, but this year we’ll definitely be sending them out. I was driving home from work when I started thinking about a Christmas card with me, Steve, and our kids. And all the sudden I got choked up and tears sprang into my eyes.

I was also thinking about how I would have the kids posing with their backs to the camera or in the shadows so I can actually post pictures of them on Facebook and other social media sites. And actually, on here! Thinking of posing them with their hands and arms so that they made like big shadow heart on the ground and I can post that. From what I understand, we aren’t allowed to post pictures of their faces until they are legally our children.

I told one of the parents from school today whom I absolutely adore and she has been so amazing to me this past year and a half. She was so excited that I think she almost started crying when I told her we were adopting.

Kids. Family. I’m going to be a mommy.

Classes countdown: 25 days!

May312013

We have class! For adoption, that is…

Leave it to me to be all gung ho about starting the adoption blog then no post for 2 weeks. What on earth happened?

The Miami-Dade foster agencies happened. I scoured their websites and called and emailed all 5 agencies. I tried to find someone that would speak to me. Tried to find an agency that was willing to register us for their PRIDE classes. My emails were rejected, sent out of office notifications, and forwarded on to others. My voicemails went unreturned.

Nothing. Well, nothing substantial.

So I gave up. Ok, we can’t start classes until October with CHS? Fine. I tried everything including guilt to get them to let us into the sooner classes since their staff screwed up. Nothing except attitude.

I posted to the Our Kids Facebook page asking questions and got a phone number of a gentleman to call. He was not only helpful, but gave me additional names. But still no classes.

I was getting more and more frustrated with the system down here. After all, we have been actively trying to get information on adopting for 6 weeks. My friend in Orlando contacted an agency after us and was given so much information so quickly that I felt even more disenchanted by the system. (She and her husband have their orientation next week- yay!)

Finally… FINALLY… on Tuesday I got an email from FRC with attachments and a note saying their orientation is June 29th and the classes begin in July. And could we please fill out the forms and get them back to her. I had literally just been ranting to Steve about the horrible system in place and no one wanting to help us adopt and get some kids out of the system. Do they not want kids in safe and permanent homes? What is going on here??

I took Lola outside, popped open my Gmail app and starting freaking out. Right there was an email, sent after hours, from a woman at FRC with the blessed information. I scanned through the attachments and raced back inside to tell him that we finally had good news.

The next day I filled out the paperwork and him to sign it. Yesterday I faxed it back to her. She replied stating that their Orientation class is June 29th and the 10-week PRIDE classes begin on July 16th from 6-9pm. That means they end the day after my birthday. BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!

Referring to my post on the steps to adoption, we should be doing our first Home Visit during the week of August 4th. The second would be in mid-September. We feasibly could have a child (children) in our home by Christmas. That prospect makes me want to rush out and start Christmas shopping!

But also, it means we need to seriously ramp up the apartment hunting and cleaning out the guest bedroom.

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