humor

Jun152011

A Little Job Hunting Humor

I feel like I’ve been job hunting non-stop for the past almost 2 years with only a handful of nibbles and one interview. It can get pretty disheartening with all that passive rejection. Only 3 of the applications sent actual rejection letters/emails. 3. Out of I don’t even know how many.

This afternoon, I cracked open The Select Group‘s monthly broadcast/ e-newsletter and found a bit of interview humor. It’s always good to laugh, especially at yourself, in these situations. Even though most of the time I just want to cry at the lack of real responses and interviews.

I applied to another job last night. I’m a little more hopeful as I have a friend that works there and used her personal referral page to apply.  Only time will tell.

Eager Beginnings

A recent college graduate interviewed for an entry-level developer position with a top technology company.

Towards the end of the interview, the hiring manager said, “If we move forward, the next step is to extend an offer. Have you thought about your target starting salary?”

The recent grad eagerly replied, “Based on my GPA and skill set, I believe $130,000 is a reasonable starting point.”  He paused and added, “Of course, that depends on your company’s benefits package.”

The hiring manager leaned back in his chair and said, “Our benefits consist of 6 weeks paid vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental for your entire family, 100% matching for your 401k contributions… and you get use of the company jet whenever you need it!”

The grad leaped out of his chair and exclaimed, “Wow! That is incredible. Are you kidding me? I never…”

The hiring manager interrupted him and said, “Settle down. Of course I am kidding with you…but you started it.”

–Tom Romano, TSG’s resident humorist

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Nov102010

A Little Intelligent Geek Humor

Puns for Educated Minds…Do you have one?

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One said to the other, ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, ‘Keep off the Grass.’
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.
21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.’
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The other says ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’
25. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

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