adoption

Working Out.. And Taking Control

On Saturday, we joined a gym. I haven’t belonged to a gym since.. umm… maybe 2008 or so. I mean, I worked for the YMCA, but I only worked out a handful of times in the almost 2 years I was there.

We had gone into our local Planet Fitness a little over a week ago and toured the facility. It’s pretty bare bones as far as gyms go with no pool, classes or steam room/ sauna. However it has TONS of machines running the entire length of the (huge) wall in 2 rows. They also have free wrights and those machines that all gyms have. Clearly I’ve spent very little time in gyms. But I do know this place is huge. And open during the times I want to work out. Oh, and is $10 a month for the cancel at anytime with no penalties plan. The other plan was $20 a month which included tanning beds, massage chairs, some funky infrared light machine thingy and some other perks. We opted not to do that one as there is a minimum of 3 months at the current club before transferring to another club. And since we have no idea how long we will be living here..

Monday was our first day working out. We’re definitely going to have to rearrange our gym times as by the time Steve got home, changed and we got there, it was 9:35am. In order for me to make it to Home Depot to meet my dad to drive into Coral Gables for work, I need to be in the shower by 10:15am at the latest. So, basically, we walked on the treadmills for 20 minutes with a 5 minute cool down.

This morning I am aiming to get there by 9am so I have a full hour to workout. Hopefully I can keep it up for 3-4 days a week. I know for a fact that when I actually work out (which I’m not a fan of), I lose weight pretty quickly. My biggest problem with weight is that I don’t eat properly. That is, I don’t snack, emotionally eat or randomly eat all day, I just don’t eat. Well, no, I eat when I am hungry and stop when I get full. I also don’t eat balanced meals, or at least rarely eat them.

Yeah yeah, it’s terrible. Trust me, I know. That whole bought of “anorexia” (umm, my diet pretty much consisted of diet pills and alcohol) in college and the forced Weight Watchers diet when I was 12 has done a real number on me.

Working out will hopefully kick my metabolism into normalcy and make me hungry so I start eating on a regular schedule.

27 years old | BeccaBlogs.com

My “physical” goal for my 35th year is to get in shape, feel better about myself and look awesome in the bridesmaids dress in Felice and Chris’ wedding. More specifically, I want to be in shape enough to actually have my body work properly again even though we are planning on adopting siblings from foster care. This also means that I will be able to run and play with our children and not get winded. And be able to strengthen my seriously weak ankles that keep spraining. Yeah, they’re holding up quite a bit of weight and never healed properly from all the sprains.

I have absolutely how much I weighed in this picture, but it was taken 8 years ago and I think it’s a good goal to have. I remember the size I wore (based on the job uniforms hanging in the closet) and that would be a pretty drastic change from where I am now. Man, I sure do wish I could go back and dye my hair and brush it better…

So now I’m off to the gym… Cheers, my friends!

spacer

Plug: Adoption Bloggers Interview Project

Hello readers!

As y’all know, my husband and I are planning on adoption 2 children from foster care (a sibling pair to be exact) and I have been researching everything I can find on the subject. During this research, I discovered (and became a part of) the Open Adoption Bloggers (see the orange link in the sidebar?)

If I’m not mistaken, some of my readers have found me from OAB. Welcome!

I just found out about the Adoption Bloggers Interview Project from OAB this afternoon. And it’s brilliant! Basically, it pairs up 2 bloggers to learn about each other and post an interview on their blog. You can bet that I signed up!

Adoption Bloggers Interview Project | BeccaBlogs.com
The Interview Project is open to any blogger…

  1. who writes at least occasionally about adoption,
  2. is interested in meeting a fellow writer with different views and experiences, and
  3. wants to welcome someone into their own online space.

Pop on over there and read all about the Project and sign up. Just be sure to sign up by October 28, 2011 so that you can participate!

** Also, I offered up my services and created the above logo!
** If you know anyone that needs any design work for a blog, website, or a logo, please send them my way!

spacer

Oh, Hello Fabulous New Adoption Information Site

I Support Adoption from Foster Care | BeccaBlogs.comimage source: AdoptUsKids Facebook page

Don’t you just love it when you find a new-to-you website chock full of information on a subject you are passionate about? Yeah, me too. Yesterday afternoon I clicked on a link from the AdoptUsKids facebook page entitled “Grandparents – How to Support Your Foster Parenting Child” and, after reading it, realized I was on a yet-unexplored site. And wow. Upon exploring, I found a huge wealth of info relating to not only adoption, but foster/adoption and foster care.

I love this stuff.

Sure, we don’t have a time frame yet for adoption, but that doesn’t stop my research. I love digging up all the information that I possibly can about a subject of interest. It helps me make extremely informed decisions.

Like last night, we went into Barnes & Noble and started playing with the Nook Color. When the sales person came up to us, I was able to rattle off all sorts of details from a couple hours of Kindle vs Nook comparative research. It was enough for her to say “wow, you should be doing my job!” So, yes, I am a researching nerd. 🙂

But anywho, here are some great articles on foster/adoption, but bear in mind that this is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg over at adoption.about.com
Adopt a Foster Child
How to Better Understand the Profiles of Waiting Children
How to Know When an Adoption Match Is Right for Your Family
How to Know When a Child Is Not a Good Adoption Match for Your Family

There are so many great articles all over this site and to try and list them all would be somewhat pointless. Yes, I only linked to a handful of foster/adoption articles as that is the route we are taking. Like I said, they have everything including international and domestic adoption of infants and older children. It all depends on what you are interested in doing for your family.

Now go forth and research. <3

spacer

The Steps to Foster Adoption

Want Kids? | BeccaBlogs.comImage Source: Zazzle

I’ve been doing a lot of contemplation in terms of expanding our family lately. This afternoon we met with an insurance agent at work in the hopes of getting health insurance. My request was that infertility testing was covered, but not IVF, surrogacy or IUI. I honestly just want to know what is wrong with me and see if it’s a “quick fix” that doesn’t require medication for the rest of my life.

But anyhow, adoption is still very much on the forefront of my brain. Last night I was digging around and looking for additional information to gobble up and bookmark. It came about after a conversation with my aunt and our family reaction to adoption. Sadly, I already know it will not be a positive reaction. It has already been shoved in my face that adoption is “wrong” and why don’t we “just have your own kids?” And that was simply the reaction from when I received some paperwork from an adoption agency in the mail.

During my digging, I pulled the following article from this page on The Adoption Guide. It doesn’t have links or anything concrete, but I found it interesting. The steps are pretty generic as there is much to do for each step. We are extremely fortunate to have friends and connections in the world of foster-care in Florida to help with the process.

I am just so ready to expand our family, but alas, we have quite a lot to get situated before even getting started down this road.

The fees are minimal to non-existent, wait times can be shorter than in private or international adoption, and there are many younger children, toddlers, and even infants available for adoption. In many cases, subsidies are available for the child’s living expenses and healthcare, even after the adoption is completed.

What is fost/adoption?
Children placed in fost/adopt homes are deemed likely to be available for adoption within a reasonable time frame. You foster the child until the birthparents’ rights are terminated, then adopt.

How do I get started?
1) Find an agency. To locate a public agency, find the Department of Public Welfare or Department of Social Services section on your state government’s website. Many private agencies handle fost/adoptions, as well; the adoption agency directory on this website allows you to find such agencies.

2) Complete an application and homestudy. The time-frame for processing depends on the agency you work with—anywhere from two months to a year.

3) Attend parenting classes. Most public agencies require adoption and parenting training, which typically takes four to twelve weeks.

4) Wait to be matched with a child. Wait times vary widely depending on the restrictions you specify as to race, gender, age, and health. For African-American and biracial children, particularly boys, the wait can be as short as a month or two.

5) Welcome him or her into your home. Once your child is home with you, the wait for him or her to become legally available for adoption will vary depending on the situation. There is an element of emotional risk involved; in some cases, the wait ends with the birthfamily deciding to parent the child. However, children in fost/adopt placements have been judged unlikely to be reunited with their birthfamilies.

6) Finalize the adoption. Once your child is legally free for adoption, it takes about six months on average to finalize the adoption.

For More Information
• Visit the North American Council on Adoptable Children’s Web site atwww.nacac.org.

© 2011 Adoptive Families. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part is prohibited.

spacer

Foster Kids Heart Gallery Pictures

Dear Self,

The more you look at the adorable children in foster care, the more you will want to start the process immediately. Please stop. Seriously. You’re killing your ovaries. And your willpower.

Please just stop checking out the Heart Gallery bc it’s really not helping at all.

Like, Sue and Frank, or Jamie and William, or Brittany and Isaac.

For realsies.

spacer

Adoption Progress through the Foster System

Saturday night at a friends birthday bash, we spoke to one of her co-workers that specializes in placing foster children into homes. SCORE! Unfortunately she only works in Broward county, but we were still able to get some great info. Seeing as we aren’t certain what state we will be living in, we aren’t planning on starting anything in the next couple of months.

She said the home study and other approval processes can take anywhere from 4-9 months. Considering we want a sibling group of 2, we would likely receive placement quicker than parents wanting a single child. Sibling groups fall into the “Special Needs” groups as they don’t want to be split up and can often be more difficult to place.

She offered to be our contact if we ever needed any help even after we move. I love nice people. They’re completely awesome!

Also, every state has different benefits for their children. Florida offers Medicaid for the children until the age of either 18 or 21 depending on circumstances, free college tuition up to age 28 (though maybe it’s age 23; it was loud in the bar) to any public FL university, community college or vocational school, as much therapy as the children (and family) requires, and a great support system. I had to look some of that stuff up on AdoptFlorida.org.

Texas offers the right to inherit (from both adoptive parents and birth parents), adoption reimbursement fees, Medicaid coverage up to age 18 or 21 again depending, counseling/ therapy/ other services for the children (and family), state college tuition assistance. All this (and more) came from the Texas DFPS website.

Great foster adoption resources:
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/foster/
http://www.theadoptionguide.com/options/foster/

Lots to think about and research now.

spacer

Taxes: Paying for the First Time in Ages

Every year for as long as I can remember I have done my taxes myself on taxact.com and gotten a nice refund back. I even turned my not so tech loving hubby on to taxact a few years ago. This year we had a ton of things for our taxes, not to mention our first year filing jointly.

After spending a few weeks waiting for all our W-2s and his 1099, I plugged in everything as usual and didn’t like the resulting number in red glaring back at me. A number that we owed. Ouch. Stupid 1099, even for 4 months, cost us a fortune.

Gone are the days of getting back $2-3k. Hopefully temporarily.

We held off on filing hoping a solution would appear to reduce that horrible number. Well, yesterday we went to H&R Block which, while helpful, was also EXPENSIVE. We spent a couple of hours working with 3 ladies who knew various things about 1099s and managed to reduce that horrible amount owed by about $300. However, in the end we owed them $350 in fees. Um, what?

We also learned from the client at the next booth that adopting a child earns you about up to $10k in a refund. Wow. I had no idea. And we want to adopt siblings. Insane. But also I’m sure there’s people that foster/ adopt just for the money. Sorry, tangent…

It was a very expensive lesson to learn, but from now on you can bet I know how to track all our deductions and expenses from his 1099. And with my new job, I might have a 1099 as well. Ugh.

If you or your spouse/significant other are a 1099 employee, how do you track expenses, etc? I need to implement a system immediately and find receipts from the past 4.5 months. For once I’m thankful for hubby’s pack rat wallet tendencies.

spacer

Infertility is an Ugly Thought in my Head

Broken Eggs | BeccaBlogs.comIt’s become more and more of a reality that I am infertile. Why did I come to this conclusion? Well, it’s a simple (and heartbreaking) realization that the problems I had as a child are still looming over my head. Huh? When Aunt Flow first visited back in junior high, she was never regular. She’d rear her ugly head 4-5 times a year and stay for about 2 weeks. Oh, c’mon now, don’t be jealous.

Fast forward to the college years when I got sick of never knowing. I took myself to the doctor and left with a wonderful packet of pills guaranteeing that I would know exactly when AF would arrive each month. It was a fabulous run… until I went off them last year as I knew it could take a few months to get out of my system.

As for AF these days? Well, she hasn’t shown up in 4.5 months. Apparently it took my system 5 months to fully be rid of the effects of those pills.

Do you know how heartbreaking that is to a woman that wants to have children?

Yes, I do plan on seeing a doctor. Eventually. I have been uninsured since May and simply can’t afford to go to a doctor. Yes, Planned Parenthood is an option. They’ve been one of the few options I’ve had the majority of my life, thank goodness. When you don’t make a lot of money personally, but have a husband earning considerably more, not even Medicaid is an option.

No, I wouldn’t have a problem accepting assistance when it comes to my health. I will gladly take any assistance on the planet if it meant I could go to a doctor again.

This afternoon I started looking into infertility support groups and fertility clinics in the area. Not that we can afford those clinics. But I did find out that the fact that I’ve been irregular ever since AF reared her ugly head means weight isn’t an issue. Sure, being this large isn’t helping, but it’s not really hurting either. That was pretty amazing to read. One of these days when I do make it to a doctor, chances are it’ll be a hormone imbalance.

Whatever the case may be, it’s still not a fun prospect.

And for this reason (all the hoops to do things naturally), hubby is all about adoption. I am too, don’t get me wrong. I just want to be a mommy. Sure, I would love to experience pregnancy, but a child is a child no matter who’s genes their carrying. I don’t need to share DNA to love a child. It just hurts knowing that something I’ve wanted for so long might not happen.

Image Source
spacer