adoption

Jun192013

Orientation… and Books

I can finally count the number of days until our orientation on my fingers. And not use any twice!

10 glorious days until this adoption process becomes a reality.

Every time I tell someone at work that we’re adopting, they’re so happy and excited for us. It’s amazing to see/ hear the different responses and reactions that I’m getting. Also, I love hearing the “I’m adopted” stories from friends. It’s so heartwarming to know that we aren’t alone in this journey.

I was in a different Barnes & Noble tonight buying some awesome books for our 11year old cousin and asked the sales folks where the adoption books were. They had three. I asked where the grandparents books were. They had one. Ugh. Really? I was considering getting a book and giving it to my parents at their anniversary dinner – 42! – as an opening to discuss our adoption plans. However, the lack of books postponed it yet again. Maybe I’m just not looking forward to hearing that we should just “have our own babies” again. Even if I could get pregnant, we would still be adopting.

Jun042013

Holiday Cards… It’s only June!

I just got choked up thinking about our Christmas card this year. We haven’t sent one in a while, but this year we’ll definitely be sending them out. I was driving home from work when I started thinking about a Christmas card with me, Steve, and our kids. And all the sudden I got choked up and tears sprang into my eyes.

I was also thinking about how I would have the kids posing with their backs to the camera or in the shadows so I can actually post pictures of them on Facebook and other social media sites. And actually, on here! Thinking of posing them with their hands and arms so that they made like big shadow heart on the ground and I can post that. From what I understand, we aren’t allowed to post pictures of their faces until they are legally our children.

I told one of the parents from school today whom I absolutely adore and she has been so amazing to me this past year and a half. She was so excited that I think she almost started crying when I told her we were adopting.

Kids. Family. I’m going to be a mommy.

Classes countdown: 25 days!

May312013

We have class! For adoption, that is…

Leave it to me to be all gung ho about starting the adoption blog then no post for 2 weeks. What on earth happened?

The Miami-Dade foster agencies happened. I scoured their websites and called and emailed all 5 agencies. I tried to find someone that would speak to me. Tried to find an agency that was willing to register us for their PRIDE classes. My emails were rejected, sent out of office notifications, and forwarded on to others. My voicemails went unreturned.

Nothing. Well, nothing substantial.

So I gave up. Ok, we can’t start classes until October with CHS? Fine. I tried everything including guilt to get them to let us into the sooner classes since their staff screwed up. Nothing except attitude.

I posted to the Our Kids Facebook page asking questions and got a phone number of a gentleman to call. He was not only helpful, but gave me additional names. But still no classes.

I was getting more and more frustrated with the system down here. After all, we have been actively trying to get information on adopting for 6 weeks. My friend in Orlando contacted an agency after us and was given so much information so quickly that I felt even more disenchanted by the system. (She and her husband have their orientation next week- yay!)

Finally… FINALLY… on Tuesday I got an email from FRC with attachments and a note saying their orientation is June 29th and the classes begin in July. And could we please fill out the forms and get them back to her. I had literally just been ranting to Steve about the horrible system in place and no one wanting to help us adopt and get some kids out of the system. Do they not want kids in safe and permanent homes? What is going on here??

I took Lola outside, popped open my Gmail app and starting freaking out. Right there was an email, sent after hours, from a woman at FRC with the blessed information. I scanned through the attachments and raced back inside to tell him that we finally had good news.

The next day I filled out the paperwork and him to sign it. Yesterday I faxed it back to her. She replied stating that their Orientation class is June 29th and the 10-week PRIDE classes begin on July 16th from 6-9pm. That means they end the day after my birthday. BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!

Referring to my post on the steps to adoption, we should be doing our first Home Visit during the week of August 4th. The second would be in mid-September. We feasibly could have a child (children) in our home by Christmas. That prospect makes me want to rush out and start Christmas shopping!

But also, it means we need to seriously ramp up the apartment hunting and cleaning out the guest bedroom.

May172013

10 Steps to Adoption

I pulled this information off a local agency site in Miami-Dade county, FL. The steps may be the same in other counties and states, but definitely check with your local agency. I’m quite happy that I found this page as I did not receive any of this information when I called to schedule our Orientation classes. I was searching for information on classes when I stumbled upon this page. Interestingly enough, I found that other states post everything online from their class schedules, to what to expect with the process and Miami has nothing. Strange.

Even when I was speaking with the Adoption Advocate, I wasn’t given this type of timeline. She said the folks over at the Children’s Home Society would give me all the details. When I spoke to a friend in Orlando also going through foster-adoption, she showed me her schedule. Quite frankly, I was baffled that she had so much information. She said they even spoke to her at length about her and her husband and their adoption plans. Baffled. No one from the state has spoken to me so far about our plan.

2 days ago, I posted onto the Our Kids Facebook page and they’ve been in touch back and forth and just gave me the direct line and cell phone number of a person I can contact to get way more details. It’s a relief to finally have answers. I may not be fully organized in the rest of my life, but this is different. Bringing a new person (people) into our family is a huge deal and I’d think they’d want to give us too much info rather then not enough. After I speak to him, I’ll be sure to post everything I find out.

++++++

Below are 10 basic steps of adopting a child. Review these steps closely and see if adoption is right for you.

1. Attend the orientation meeting and bring the following documentation:
— Driver License
— Social Security Cards of all members in the family.
— Marriage Certificate if applicants are living together.
— Pictures of your family and your home.

2. Register for MAPP Training at 305-779-9609.

3. First adoption home visit. The visit will occur after you complete the 3rd session of MAPP training.

4. Second adoption home visit: This visit occurs after you complete the MAPP training.

5. Matching process: the adoption unit and your family gather to make a decision about the child that will best match your family.

6. Getting-to-know-process: several child studies with pictures are presented to the family.

7. A blind visit is arranged and parents meet the child in a non-challenged and friendly environment.

8. The family will interview with the selected child’s therapist, case manager , teachers, foster parents and other significant people in the child’s life.

9. The family and the case manager arrange a visit plan that gradually introduces the child to the family members, the home and their community.

10. The family and the agency agree on a placement plan that gradually moves the child into the family, their school and the community.

THE PLACEMENT:
The family signs documentation agreeing to receive the child in their family for the purpose of adoption. The state agrees to subsidize the adoption, and provide Medicaid to cover the child’s health needs. CHARLEE shares custody with the parents for a minimum of 90 days and until both parties agree to finalize the adoption. CHARLEE also provides services to the family such as individual and family therapy to help in the process.

FINALIZATION:
CHARLEE and the parents agree that the family is ready to accept permanent responsibility for the child, and they are ready to commit to such responsibility before a judge.

This and so much more can be found on the CHARLEE website.

May122013

Mother’s Day and the Timeline to Adoption

I posted this on Facebook yesterday:

Next year I will be celebrating Mother’s Day with my own child. *shivers*

To which, amongst others, received this comment:

How quickly will you guys have your little one?

To which I responded and also thought.. what a great blog post!

This is the timeline that we’re working with at the moment:

Our orientation class is June 20th.
From there, we will sign up for our 10 weeks of PRIDE classes (PDF link) which should end right around my birthday in August/September.
After that, we will have our home study done – I was told it had to be completed within 90 days of completion of our classes – so by the end of November.
While that home study is being completed, we will be looking at all the photolistings of children.
Once our home study is approved for adoption, we will select children we want more information about based on their limited online profiles and our social worker will reach out to their social worker and see if we’re a match. If we are, we will get their file and arrange to meet him/her/them.
The timeframe from here on is a little shaky as we really don’t know how long this can take.
After we spend time with him/her/them, we will have a few sleepovers, then they will move in.
If all goes well, 6 months later, we will finalize the adoption in court and apply for new birth certificates.

There are hundred of thousands of children in US foster care. Roughly 40% of them are legally free and available for adoption. The term “special needs” refers to children due to specific factors or conditions such as being over 8, having a particular racial or ethnic background, being part of a sibling group needing to be placed together, medical conditions, and physical, mental, or emotional handicaps.

Now, why do I keep saying “him/her/them” – we have not fully decided boy or girl or one of each. If we can move into a 3-4 bedroom home, we can open our home and lives up to more children. 2 is our max sibling group size at the moment. I do still want a boy and a girl, but we’ve been told that they need their own rooms. So, master, boy room, girl room, office = 4 bedrooms. Unless we can find a super huge master bedroom or a closet-less den to use for an office, we can go to a 3 bedroom.

Anyone know of 3-4 bedroom 2-3 bathroom homes in the Palmetto Bay/ Cutler Bay, West Kendall area for under $1,400 a month? Our current lease is up in August so we’re on the hunt for new digs!

May112013

Lack of Adoption Books

We were at Barnes & Noble yesterday afternoon and I brought a whole stack of mommy and daddy books to the table to flip through. Every time I mentioned “my kid..” I would get choked up. Eventually Steve stopped LSAT prep (I know, I’m a bad influence) and was flipping through the books too and we were both reading from them.

Sadly, B&N only had 1 adoption book and it was about adopting an infant internationally. Yeah, Doesn’t help me. I’m actually quite surprised that there aren’t more. I didn’t even find Instant Mom by Nia Vardalos – and one of my very favorite non-fiction books – in the adoption section. It’s pretty pathetic that the typically 2-3 adoption titles are crammed in with the pregnancy, child birth and raising your child books. What about the “I got a 5-6-7-8-etc year old child and need to know what to do” book? Where are they?

Maybe I should write one. Or at least, keep a fairly consistent blog for a few months before I debate getting in that far over my head.

May012013

PRESS RELEASE Florida Legislature Passes Bill Redesigning Foster Care Independent Living Program

This is such amazing news! Now older kids can be adopted and have their benefits continue through age 21. So awesome!

TALLAHASSEE –Florida lawmakers today approved monumental legislation that redesigns the foster care independent living program. The Florida House today took up and approved Senate Bill 1036, sponsored by Senator Nancy Detert. The Florida Senate on Friday renamed the legislation to the “Nancy C. Detert Common Sense and Compassion Independent Living Act” and voted 38-0 in favor of the bill. The bill passed the House today on a vote of 116-1.

The legislation is backed by the Department of Children and Families and is based on recommendations made by the Independent Living Services Advisory Council (ILSAC). It will give young adults the option to remain in foster care until the age of 21 in order to finish high school, earn a GED, pursue post-secondary education or begin a career. The bill strengthens the role of foster parents, restructures the Road-to-Independence Program and empowers caregivers to provide high quality, nurturing parenting for children in foster care.

“I want to thank the Florida Legislature, especially bill sponsors Sen. Detert and Rep. Perry, for passing this landmark piece of legislation that will change the lives of countless youth who age out of foster care,” said Department of Children and Families Secretary David Wilkins. “With this legislation, which is truly the voice of our young people, our youth will have the same opportunity as our own children to be successful adults.”

Young people who age out of foster care face significant challenges as they make the transition to adulthood on their own. Currently, nearly 3,000 young adults are receiving Independent Living services.

Last fall, Secretary Wilkins appointed 18 new members to the ILSAC and named a new director of Independent Living Services to overhaul the program. The Council called for the redesign of the state program and expanding foster care from age 18 to age 21 after survey results showed many challenges and successes for children in foster care and those who have aged out.

“The Council is committed to continuing to seek ways to redesign the program to help youth in foster care and young adults who have aged out have the best chance of success in life,” said Bob Garner, Chair of Florida’s ILSAC. “We appreciate Secretary Wilkins putting forth our recommendations as a legislative priority and the many advocates and lawmakers who supported this bill.”

The independent living bill is the second of two DCF legislative priorities to improve outcomes for children in foster care passed during the 2013 Legislative Session. The “Letting Kids be Kids” bill, sponsored by Sen. Nancy Detert and Rep. Ben Albritton, was signed into law by Governor Rick Scott on April 11. The new law empowers foster parents to make day-to-day decisions for foster children in their care and reduces regulations that are barriers for kids in foster care to enjoy participation in extracurricular, enrichment or social activities.

For more information on Independent Living services to youth aging out of the foster care system, please visit http://www.myflfamilies.com/service-programs/independent-living

Apr302013

Dreaming of Decorating their Bedrooms

Last week I stopped at Target to pick up 2 items and made the mistake of not going right to the grocery section for said items. You can already see where this is heading, right? First I hit up the clothing section – picked out 2 cute tops that got put back later – then the workout clothing section – a girl needs new yoga pants – then the sock department then as I was heading to the storage container section, I walked into pink and blue heaven. I mean, the children’s room section. Seriously, there’s some cute stuff out there. Sure, I admit that I wanted most of it for myself, but that’s why we decorate kid’s rooms right? Yes, I’m going to allow my child(ren) to decorate their rooms, but don’t think I won’t have some personal mom touches in there.

Holy crap. I’m going to be a mom.

Yep, tears springing into my eyes.

Anyhow, cute stuff. See? OK, so I hit up Pinterest too.

My favorite idea!

I’m super peeved bc the Pinterest link-love doesn’t work so these had to be manually linked. If anyone has figured out how to get this to work with WordPress, please let me know!

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