We’ve been married for 4 months, dated for 3 years and I finally told Steve a few days ago that I don’t care about Valentine’s Day. Like, at all. I never really saw the point of taking a single day out of an entire year to profess your love for someone. Really? What about the other 364 days? What is so special about a single day? Show your loved ones year round bc it just makes sense!
Also, why do women insist upon making their significant others feel like crap if they forget to buy them flowers, candy and jewelry? Another thing I never understood. Early on in our relationship, I did get a big bouquet of pink roses (I’m so not a fan of roses!) and daisies and a really pretty necklace from Steve. And I always make a nice dinner – not that it necessarily has to be on the actual date. I like to cook. Hell, I might even bake something. I made the above cupcakes a few years ago mostly bc I was on a major cupcake fix and also bc Steve brought home a bag of conversation hearts. =)
A single woman in our office is making a huge deal out of this “holiday” by telling all the men that forgetting to buy their wives/ girlfriends lots of gifts is grounds for a divorce. I just shook my head in disgust.
Sure, it’s nice to get the carnations in high school and dole out Scooby Doo valentine’s as a child, but is it really that big of a deal? I, personally, would much rather show my amazing husband how much I love him throughout the entire year.
Steve made a comment the other day (when I informed him I didn’t want anything) about how we’ll be lucky to even see each other on Monday. He works at 9pm and I typically don’t get home until 7-7:30pm. We barely have any time together on the days when I do work.
What about you? Are you a hard core Valentine’s Day supporter or is it just another day?
I guess while I’m a fan of Valentine’s Day, I’m not a fan of the “traditional” ways people celebrate it. I like to think of it as a day we can use to remind ourselves to show more love to EVERYBODY, not just a partner/spouse. For example, it’s another great reason to send my mom flowers (especially since my dad died), and to give my close friends little cards and letters reminding them how much I love and appreciate them. For a relationship, I find it a great reason to just “have a date” when our lives are so busy. Some of my best Valentine’s Day plans have included reading books to kids at a library, going to the zoo, taking my grandparents out to dinner, and just having a picnic (no expensive jewelry, flowers, etc) with some chocolate and good books and my then-boyfriend.
The expectations ruin the meaning of a day that’s supposed to remind us to be better in showing love to people — part of the nature of love is to not expect or demand things, to be grateful, and to give as much as we receive.
Kind of like Christmas or Easter… it is what you make of it!
That single girl is obviously stupid. I am married (as you know) and I don’t really have any plans for valentines day. I am actually working on Valentines day. I haven’t even purchased a card yet. I see no reason for my husband to go out of his way to buy me a gift with OUR money. I don’t want anything or need anything for this holiday.
Andrew and I tend to celebrate a lot of important things in our relationship, and I imagine a lot of people find this strange. For instance, the anniversary of our first date is a big thing for us. I mean, it’s not everyday you meet the love of your life, right? Then, of coruse, there will be the wedding anniversary. Valentine’s Day is nice, but it’s more of a tradition from our relationship. We had only been together a couple weeks when V Day rolled around, and he was still on his game, so we had a nice night out. Then came the joke that we’d go to Paris. It was less about Valentine’s Day, though, and more about memories and stuff, if that makes sense.
For the future, we’ll always look for an excuse to take a trip. 😉
Chanele- didn’t you get engaged ON V-day IN Paris? Now that’s something I’d celebrate every year! 🙂
I am all for Valentines Day. Actually I am for ALL holidays, big and small. I celebrate Christmas and tell my kids all about Santa and buy a ton of presents even though it has nothing to do with the birth of Jesus. I put on a massive spread for Easter, dye a gazillion Easter eggs and make massive Easter baskets for my family even though a fuzzy bunny has nothing to do with the resurrection of Christ. I stay up to sneak into my kids room and put a quarter underneath their pillow when a tooth falls out even though we all know it is ridiculous to think about a small fairy travelling around the world collecting baby teeth (yuk). Oh and my pet peeve is “oh my Birthday is just another day.” No siree-bob. My Birthday is like a national holiday. I take the day off, hit the spa, open my presents, and sleep all day even though I should probably be calling my mother and sending HER to the spa.
The fact of the matter is in an ideal world we should celebrate things like religion, love, and family EVERY day but unfortunately we all get bogged down in our day to day routines. Though at the end of our lives we will think how short it was, the reality is in the present life feels really, really long. So I am all for any holiday that makes me stop and “smell the roses”, that reminds me to take time out of running after kids or complaining about my boss and instead focus on my husband and family. I am for any excuse to put on a pretty dress, turn off the TV, have a glass of wine/egg nog/mimosa, eat too much without feeling guilty, and have the opportunity to add a little magic to the every day.
But hey, that’s me. Good for you if you can manage it every day – or every other day – without anything to spur you on.
I have a complex opinion of Valentine’s Day. First off, that single girl you work with needs to redefine “grounds for divorce.” It’s not the end of the world if the guy doesn’t buy a boat load of expensive jewelry, boxes of fancy chocolates, and several dozen roses. And in that same respect, there’s no reason whatsoever why the woman should be the only receiver in the relationship. Love goes both ways, after all. Now as for it being treated as the one and only day to celebrate love? Well, I treat it the same way I’d treat an anniversary. You don’t always celebrate with steak and shrimp, or else you might have a tighter budget, tighter pants, and tighter arteries. It’s just a day on which many other couples are celebrating together. As for singles, who says you need a date to treat/ treat you? Why not treat yourself? In love, you need to love and respect yourself, too, so why not make/ buy yourself dinner?
Our personal tradition has been to treatment Valentine’s Day as a Strawberry Fest Day. It includes the children in the celebrations, Florida strawberries are in season, and it’s festive. I try to incorporate strawberries into all of the meals. Depending on our monetary situation, we celebrate with chocolates and flowers some times. Sometimes the flowers and chocolates come before the actual day, and that’s fine. Gifts can be as simple as doing favors. Giving of yourself is much more thoughtful than buying something just because it’s on sale for V-Day.
And one final thought. It’s easier to celebrate your love as a couple more often before the kids come along. With the three of ours running around, some days the love celebrated might be relegated to the “I love you”‘s spoken thought out the day, and nothing more. A bed time kiss, the ritual good nights, and that’s that. Having a day out of the year that’s already calendared as a day to give the kids their own meal, put them to bed earlier, and then enjoy a quiet dinner alone? I’ll take it! The kids are cute and sweet, but they’re not quite conducive to romance. 😉
We do exchange gifts but not cards and I prefer not to go to a restaurant (fighting the crowds). This year I made us one of our favorite dinners. I did notice that some of the fast food places were doing V-day (like Taco Bell) specials. It also seems like a lot of people did it this over the whole weekend instead of the actual day. My Mom and Dad do something small for each other and then for someone who needs a boost.
My Dad is proud of the fact that one year it was too crowded at the vday cards so he got my Mom a St. Patrick’s day card and a snickers. Almost 47 years together, I think Mom must have a good sense of humor.