baby brain

Ending 2012 with Some Creativity

This has been a horrible year and I’m so thrilled that it’s almost over. There were way too many deaths, accidents, injuries, hopefully curable diseases/syndromes, and heartbreaks to last a lifetime. Not to mention termites. Never again do I wish to experience this sort of bad luck again. And especially not within a 12 month span. My family has endured so much and we’re still standing. Sort of.

Sorry to start my first entry in many months on a bad note, but it had to be said. There has been some good happen this year. Namely I got a much deserved raise at work, Steve decided to go to law school and took the LSAT (we get the scores in a couple of weeks), and… umm… we have our own place.

Seriously, finding those 3 was like pulling teeth.

Anyhow, tonight I decided to pull my Christmas ornament box out and finish the project that I started last year. Last year I had wrapped all the balls with yarn. I thought there was a color scheme, but it turns out to be blues and greens and other random colors of leftover yarn. Tonight I glued them all down and stuck the ornaments around. I also burned the hell out of my arms and hands in several places. And Lola learned what a hot glue gun was… with her nose.

So without further ado, my adorable wreath!

As far as law school is concerned, we aren’t 100% certain where we will be other then not in Miami. With me supporting us at least his first year, this over the top expensive city just isn’t possible.


12 Pounds of Fat

For lack of being able to find a picture of 12 pounds of fat, I give you this one of 1 and 5 pounds.

Image source
I have lost 2 of each of the above piles of fat… or 12 pounds!

Today marks the beginning of my 6th week of the Body By Vi 90 Day Challenge – or technically the 5th as I had to wait a week for my second shipment – and I have lost 12 pounds as of this morning.

During my in-between week, I ate horribly as we hadn’t gone grocery shopping in weeks and thought I gained back 3 of the pounds I lost. However, after my first full day back on the shakes, I was down 0.4 from the week prior. Steve says it’s water weight and I’m going to go with that to ease my mind. 😉

My intention when beginning Body By Vi was to keep track of all the meals I ate on here as a sign of accountability. Instead, I re-activated my MyFitnessPal account and started tracking in there. I also track my weight in there, but only the losses! I think putting the gains would detract from the pretty downward line.

When I get down to a reasonable number, I might post how big I got, but it still freaks me out that it got that high.

But for now, I will drink my spinach-vanilla-peanut butter breakfast shake (hey don’t knock it! It’s amazing and creamy!) and look forward to my strawberry-banana (with a whole banana and 6 strawberries) shake for lunch. And Chili’s grilled chicken sandwich and fries for dinner. And about a million glasses of water.


Twins? Triplets? Oh my!

No, I’m not pregnant… Don’t get your imaginations rolling…

I’ve never truly contemplated having twins or even triplets. Sure, I thought about it but it was totally fleeting. I had my first visit with a Reproductive Endocrinologist last month and a follow up this afternoon. After reviewing the 12 VIALS of blood and the Glucose test results, he informed that that even though I have extreme excess weight (yeah he doesn’t sugar coat it), I am quite healthy. I totally got a double thumbs up when I said I’d lost 10 pounds in the last month. I didn’t mention the overall 10” but it might’ve gotten me a full on dance. He was actually shocked that all my bloodwork was perfect and that my sugars were on the low side.

According to a blog by 2 R.N.’s on The Mayo Clinic website…

A normal fasting blood glucose target range for an individual without diabetes is 70-100 mg/dL (3.9-5.6 mmol/L). The American Diabetes Association recommends a fasting plasma glucose level of 70–130 mg/dL (3.9-7.2 mmol/L) and after meals less than 180 mg/dL (10 mmol/L).

My fasting number was 76. My number after the 2 hour glucose test was 116.

In other words, HELL YEAH!

But back to the twins thing, my RE wants me to sign a waiver before he puts me on Clomid as the risk for multiples increases from 1-2% to 5-12% per pregnancy.  He also gave me a bunch of literature to read and said to look up whatever information I can find to educate myself so I know what we’re getting into.

Adoption is by no means off the table. With Steve starting law school hopefully in the Fall of 2013, babies are on the back burner for the next 3-4 years. There is so much to do during that time including moving to a still unknown state, getting a kick ass job enough to support us both for the bulk of our bills (no pressure there!), supporting him emotionally, financially and everything else while he stresses and freaks over law school and much more. It’ll be a bumpy ride but I know we can get through it. Hell, we got though my MBA during the first 2+ years of our relationship. The major difference is he’s not allowed to work the first year for pretty much any law school.

So yeah.. that’s just a teeny tiny smidge of what’s in my brain.


PS- Hi lovelies. If you’re reading this then I greatly appreciate you sticking around in my maaany months of not blogging. Here’s hoping that I will be blogging again on a somewhat regular basis. There’s quite a lot going on and that has been going on to catch you up on.

While I am writing this for myself, if you still read, can you comment so I know who’s out there?


Are You A New Parent?

Or do you know someone that either just gave birth or is about to do so? As you know, I sell AVON and their other 2 lines for teens/ trendy ladies and babies/ toddlers up to age 4. I got this amazing deal in my inbox today….

To all the new moms and dads out there, if you don’t already have a bedding set for your little one, you need to check this out! Normally $120, it’s on major sale for $35 and comes in pink or yellow. I personally would buy the yellow one for both boys and girls, but that’s just me not wanting to go pink overboard for a girl.

4-Piece Tiny Tillia Crib Bedding Set is 100% cotton and includes a decorative quilt (33″ x 42″), crib sheet (53.5″ x 28.5″), bumper (157″ x 9″), and crib skirt (28″ x 52″ x 15″)
Tiny Tillia Crib Bedding Set |


25 Things About Me

I used to be very big on Livejournal. Once, a few months back, I used a blog printing website ( to create a book of all my posts and, that book? It was over 7,000 posts and 4500 pages. Now, keep in mind that I was very active between 2003 and 2008.

But I digress.

I was digging around to find some of my earliest knitting projects posted on LJ and not on Ravelry, and I found one of those “25 Things About Me” lists from January 2009. After reading though it, not a whole lot has changed. It’s posted below with the updates in green.

1. I grew up in the “country” of Miami. There were no sidewalks, no street lamps, and a bunch of horses around the corner. Oh, and the smallest lot in the area was 1 acre.

2. I learned to knit in a bar. By a half drunk girl. <3 Now I’m obsessed with knitting! Seriously love it. However, I have knitting ADD and rarely finish a project before starting a new one (or 3)

3. On that note, I collect yarn for it’s softness and colors. No clue what’ll ever be made with about 2/3’s of my yarn stash. But at least I did finally start organizing it all. (It’s in several bins by yarn weight. I’m actually starting to list about a dozen for sale that I likely won’t ever use.)

4. I am horribly terrified of spiders, rats and, to a lesser degree, snakes.

5. When I was about 12, my “job” was to feed the hundreds of birds that we owned. Did it all the way through high school.

6. Die hard Gator fan. Die Hard. Even though I’m currently enrolled and paying an arm and leg for my MBA at ECU, my love for the Gators vastly outweighs my love for the Pirates. (sorry ECUers!) (Scratch that, graduated May 2010)

7. I tend to start watching shows a season or 2 after they start and then watch every single episode. Like LOST, I got into it 3 episodes to the end of season 4. Then proceeded to watch every episode in a matter of weeks to catch up. (Yup, just did this with both Drop Dead Diva and Secret Life of the American Teenager. Oh, and Firefly. And Doctor Who. And Torchwood.)

8. I have a personal vendetta against Ben Affleck. He got Jennifer Garner pregnant and ruined my favorite show (at the time) – Alias. (I fully admit that this is weird, even for me.)

9. I will watch everything J.J. Abrams produced or will produce. By far my favorite producer/ director/ writer. (And bonus, he tries to always cast Greg Grunberg in everything he does! Love him!)

10. I want to have lots and lots of babies. And have a list of names that I love. Now to find names I love that overlap with names Steve loves. (uhh yeah, still have that list, but the overlapping list is far far shorter. Blah.)

11. I was engaged right out of college. My feelings for him paled in comparison to the person I truly loved when I was in college. We’re talking head over heels love as compared to lukewarm love. And we never even dated, that’s the sad part. (He and I are both married now, obviously to different people, but seeing his wedding pics was a bit bittersweet.)

12. I’d basically given up on online dating when I met Steve. I had no idea how things would end up even though I did know there was something special and different about him on our 1st date.

13. I proposed.

14. My parents have 25+ dogs and I can name them all… but only when I’m there and looking at them. And yes, the majority of them look exactly alike except for a few markings. (They’re down to about 20 now… I think. I honestly don’t know bc they’re never all out at the same time.)

15. I have 5 tattoos and counting, but not a single one is anywhere that will be affected by being pregnant or nursing my kids. 3 on my ankles, 1 on my neck and 1 on my hip. (7 now! The other 2 are on the collar bone and on the left wrist.)

16. I was raised in a Reform Jewish synagogue and had a Jewish education until the 10th grade. I have been celebrating Christmas with Jen’s family since I was 16-17 years old and can never even remember when the Jewish holidays are.. let alone observe them. Jen or my mom has to tell me.

17. Stars are my favorite shape and 12 my favorite number. (Other favorite numbers are 843 and 42, with the latter being 1/3 of my latest tattoo.)

18. One of my tattoo’s is a seemingly random cluster of 37 stars – 3 different shapes/ sizes. There is nothing random as I drew it in Photoshop very deliberately with a specific design in mind. Also, the 4th and smallest stars were left off as they’d have been nothing but a needle prick.

19. I taught myself web design when I was a freshman at UF. I didn’t like my dorm roommate very much and spent all my free time in CIS Lab (the computer lab) tearing apart websites to figure out how they’re made.

20. The majority of my friends in college were made on IRC back when the internet was safe – yes, there was a time when it was safe! We all met up in #uf and had reunions in Gainesville for years afterwards. Many of them I’ve found again thanks to FB!

21. By that token, I got online in 1994

22. When I finish my MBA (May 2010) I will be able to manage at IT department, and also know what they’re talking about since I’ll have been coding websites for almost exactly half my life. (At my age, that’s a feat!) (Will be able, err, am able… yet still unemployed by MBA standards. Grr.)

23. I’m a label whore when it comes to my purses. I own Coach, Lucky Brand, loads of Vera Bradley and a knock off Kate Spade. (While I do have a few Coach bags and tons of Vera Bradley’s, my favorite is a no name faux leather bag from Kohl’s.)

24. I’d love, more then anything, to learn more about my dad’s mother Clara. My brothers and I didn’t find out she’d even existed until a few years ago and it was unbelievably weird and freaky to find out that his step-mother wasn’t his real mom. It was also somewhat of a relief since she always treated me like I was the most horrible person ever. BTW, Clara died when my dad was very very young before he was moved to Florida from Chicago. (I still don’t know very much, though I do know her maiden name. However, that’s about where my knowledge ends. :()

25. I am the only bridge of communication between my parents and brothers and my dad’s step-mom’s family. My “cousins” are awesome even if the parental/ grandparental generations don’t get along.

*wow. that was really difficult to come up with.*

Clearly I haven’t changed all that much in the last 2.5 years.


Why Do I Bother Looking…

Late | BeccaBlogs.comAdd to this the average 36 days for a lovely total of 143 days

I really have no idea why I keep checking on this stuff. All it does is piss me off. I mean, I still do track stuff and use the app, but I wish I could disable this pop up notification.

Yes, I probably can. I just need to dig around in the app options to find it.

***** 4 hours later *****

Apparently it’s Murphy’s Law to post about not getting my period for something to happen. TMI? I can’t help but be kinda excited about it. What can I say, it gives me a flicker of hope..

I wonder if I really did ovulate 2 weeks ago like a normal, regular woman does before her period. In that case, umm mayhaps we just might have news? Nah, most likely not.


Infertility is an Ugly Thought in my Head

Broken Eggs | BeccaBlogs.comIt’s become more and more of a reality that I am infertile. Why did I come to this conclusion? Well, it’s a simple (and heartbreaking) realization that the problems I had as a child are still looming over my head. Huh? When Aunt Flow first visited back in junior high, she was never regular. She’d rear her ugly head 4-5 times a year and stay for about 2 weeks. Oh, c’mon now, don’t be jealous.

Fast forward to the college years when I got sick of never knowing. I took myself to the doctor and left with a wonderful packet of pills guaranteeing that I would know exactly when AF would arrive each month. It was a fabulous run… until I went off them last year as I knew it could take a few months to get out of my system.

As for AF these days? Well, she hasn’t shown up in 4.5 months. Apparently it took my system 5 months to fully be rid of the effects of those pills.

Do you know how heartbreaking that is to a woman that wants to have children?

Yes, I do plan on seeing a doctor. Eventually. I have been uninsured since May and simply can’t afford to go to a doctor. Yes, Planned Parenthood is an option. They’ve been one of the few options I’ve had the majority of my life, thank goodness. When you don’t make a lot of money personally, but have a husband earning considerably more, not even Medicaid is an option.

No, I wouldn’t have a problem accepting assistance when it comes to my health. I will gladly take any assistance on the planet if it meant I could go to a doctor again.

This afternoon I started looking into infertility support groups and fertility clinics in the area. Not that we can afford those clinics. But I did find out that the fact that I’ve been irregular ever since AF reared her ugly head means weight isn’t an issue. Sure, being this large isn’t helping, but it’s not really hurting either. That was pretty amazing to read. One of these days when I do make it to a doctor, chances are it’ll be a hormone imbalance.

Whatever the case may be, it’s still not a fun prospect.

And for this reason (all the hoops to do things naturally), hubby is all about adoption. I am too, don’t get me wrong. I just want to be a mommy. Sure, I would love to experience pregnancy, but a child is a child no matter who’s genes their carrying. I don’t need to share DNA to love a child. It just hurts knowing that something I’ve wanted for so long might not happen.

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Getting Back into the Blogging Groove

Hello my friends!

How was your first weekend in 2011? Ours was extremely low-key, same as the few hours before and after we rang it in. We cooked, talked, went to Barnes & Noble (one of our favorite places), had dinner at Mario’s (another favorite), I knit, he practiced his Rosetta Stone Spanish, and we slept in quite a bit. Steve is back at work tonight, so it’s just me, the animals and a CSI marathon on Spike.

I’m currently doing a test knit for a pair of socks on Ravelry. Are any of you Ravelry members? Hit me up if you are! I’m rbf42 on there. The part of the socks I’m working on:

We discussed adoption a whole lot more as well. Right now we’re really in a bad financial position to bring a child into our lives. We really want to pay off/ down our debt, both have high[er] paying jobs, have a larger house (room for a nursery) and a few other things. Will they happen? No idea. Will we get pregnant before they happen? No idea. Will we still adopt in 2-ish years? Absolutely. Well, really no idea as it may be less or more of a time frame. Only time will really tell on that one.

Right now I’m playing the waiting game. During the last week I have been feeling like major crap with headaches, heartburn, indigestion, nausea and sheer exhaustion. Seriously, I could sleep for a week and still be exhausted. Every time I posted these symptoms, my girlfriends would chime in about those sounding familiar. As it turns out, they are also symptoms of depression and serious under eating. I am guilty of both lately. Who knows which it is, even though I’d be willing to place a wager on the depression/ under eating as the culprit.

Well, tomorrow it’s back to the grind. I know I am fortunate to have a job, even though it is only a few hours a week. So, here’s to an amazing year for all of us!