baby brain

A Twist of Fate

We have been hesitant about restarting the adoption process after the utter disaster we had in Miami.

This week, I am in Boynton Beach for my new job. I’ve been staying in an Airbnb alone with hubby at home with Lola and all the packing. All day yesterday I was thinking about Friday’s for dinner. All. Freakin. Day.

Well on a whim, I went to Alehouse instead where I happened to hear a couple across the restaurant mention that they’re adopting. I so so badly want to go over and drill them about how, their timeline, and which agency. I felt like a total creeper, but I did it anyway. Hey, at least I waited until after they paid their check and were leaving.

Thank you:  https://favim.com/hopeful/

I approached them outside and she was apprehensive when a total stranger said “I happened to overhear, but are you guys adopting?” So I quickly added that we’d been trying in Miami for several years with no luck and are moving here next week. They both opened up pretty quickly afterwards. And showed me a photo of their future daughter plus gave me names of a handful of other children they’d met along the way.

It took them under a year from their classes, 2 weeks to complete their home study, and their overnight visits start next weekend. They are straight adoption as well and have had ZERO problems and are not required to have a foster license. (Miami agencies refused to consider us for adoption unless we got our foster license.) She said they do a ton of mixers up here to be able to meet the adoptable kids (which we kept asking for in Miami!) and positively raved over the woman I’ve already been in touch with at ChildNet. Their future little one is 4 years old and they’re accelerating the visitation schedule due to her age. She will be living with them within a few weeks. We exchanged info and they said to contact them anytime with questions.

THEY GAVE ME SO MUCH HOPE YOU GUYS!! I called husband to tell him what happened and even he was getting a little bit excited. We so badly want to parent and this may be the solution! Pregnancy may not happen with all the medical issues I’ve been having, but it’s also not being ruled out.

Thank you: https://orlandoespinosa.wordpress.com

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Moving North & Revisiting Adoption

Hello!

Thought I’d pop back in and share an updated photo. I’ve now lost over 165lbs. Also, this handsome little nugget is my amazing 16 month old nephew. The photo on the right was taken at his mama’s baby shower for baby brother due in 2 months.

Also ready for a crazy life update… Ready?
* I ran my first 10K in Disney World for the Princess Weekend. It was amazingly fun except that I got violently ill and spent 2 days seemingly on death’s door..
* We ran the Star Wars 10K also in Disney World for my 2nd 10K and his 1st. I shaved 10 minutes off my time from Princess and he finished about 40 minutes before me.
* We are moving! Getting out of Miami and heading about 80 miles north to Boynton Beach as I have accepted a position in Boca Raton.
* We have been trying (unsuccessfully) to get pregnant for a few months now since my body seems to be working for the first time in.. ever? This was definitely a result of my losing so much weight. Apparently my RE knew what he was talking about with weight and PCOS.
* There’s a lot more, but at this point, does it matter?
* As an offshoot of our moving away from Miami, we will be attempting to adopt again. We are both hoping that Palm Beach County has their shit together unlike Miami.
*Tonight I contacted the lead agency in Palm Beach and started looking again at the available children on AdoptFlorida.org. I am beyond disgusted that I recognized several children with updated photos from 3-4 years ago still listed and still looking for families. Children that we requested information about.

I’m not entirely certain if we are ready for this heartbreak again, but we want a family. We want a child or 2. We don’t know if I will be able to get pregnant and don’t want to miss out on being parents. We agree we’d love any child we bring into our family by any means. I always said if we didn’t get pregnant in X years, we would revisit adoption. Apparently it was more of, “if we get out of Miami, we will revisit adoption.”

So here we go again… adoption.

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Hi

My life has taken a major change and blogging is the last thing on my mind. I don’t foresee many more posts on here, but please keep me in your feeds bc you never know when I’ll feel like writing. =)

I am on a major health journey and have lost 80lbs since February and feel like a whole new person! I have more to lose, but am thoroughly enjoying how I feel these days. A huge plus to losing so much weight is the possibility of getting pregnant without drugs. So we’ll see how that works out. I bought running shoes and an awesome bike and signed up for 2 Disney 10K races in February and April plus some local 5K races. I may have an obsession with virtual races and complete all my miles on the treadmill at the gym.

My handsome nephew is now 7 months old. I don’t get to see him very much, but cherish every moment when I do and love all the photos I get of him. He is such a sweet baby!

We (yes, collectively) have given up on the foster system in Miami. I have zero faith in it and have quit the Board of the association effective September 30th. We aren’t even getting into this anymore. I’m so fed up. Just am thankful for the amazing handful of friends we met along our 3+ year journey with nothing to show for it.

We spent a week in San Diego for Comic Con and it was the single greatest week I’ve had in a long time. Our wedding week in Vegas is the only thing to compete.

I got a new job! And I freakin love it. I still work on Miami Beach, but in a position of considerable power in an organization that will help me with my future political career.

Still in MPA classes – 4th semester. Graduation is next summer. I will then be able to rule the world.

My 40th birthday is on Friday.

Forty and Fabulous 40

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The Changing Tides…

So I had this great post lined up talking about my new nephew, WEB. He is beautiful and perfect and I couldn’t wait to hold and snuggle him. But for various reasons, this is a different kind of post.

Now, this will just be a normal update.

San Diego Comic ConFor starters, we – husband and I – are ridiculously fortunate to have scored badges to San Diego Comic Con this year!!!! (Every single type of badge sold out in under 60 minutes…) Y’all know just how much we love our cons as we’ve been attending Megacon and Supercon for the last 5 years and this year we attended Magic City for the first time. Seeing as SDCC is clear across the country, we are making a vacation out of it and spending a few days before and after to really soak everything in. The OMG feeling still hasn’t disappeared 3 days later.

School is good. I met a lot of great contacts at an ASPA conference last week.

Work is work… you know how that goes.

I currently have a super mild case of strep that I caught from 1 of 2 sources, both at work.

We attended WordCamp Miami this weekend and it was fantastic! Of course it pumped me up again to incorporate and push my design business again. It happens every year, and every year I do nothing.

Adoption? Nothing really. As you know I am on the Board of SFFAPA and very involved in the foster and adoption world. Will our child come to us this way? I honestly don’t know anymore. We have begun to explore both international-ish adoption and private newborn adoption. Of course, there is an extremely high cost associated with both of these and the benefits of a foster adoption aren’t part of either option. For example, international and private adoptions don’t provide free college tuition which would suck! That was a huge thing for us as we want our children to attend some sort of college of vo-tech school.

For those wondering, WEB was born on the 9th and had initial troubles but finally went home on the 15th. He was preemie so they are under self-imposed quarantine for a few more weeks.

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ARC Meeting Recap

This morning we had our Adoption Review Committee meeting!

Husband took off Wednesday night from work since we had to be downtown in the morning. We had yummy dinner last night and relaxed watching TV and playing video games.

This morning, we woke up early and were ready to leave the house by 8:20am. The ARC was set for 10:30am. We drove to the metrorail station, parked on the roof of the garage, then got on the train heading for Government Center. We arrived so early that we found breakfast at GC and hung out taking our time eating.  I wasn’t sure exactly how to get to Our Kids, so after walking outside twice, I asked a police officer to point us in the right direction. My GPS isn’t that accurate on the walking setting.

We went on our way and it was only about 3 blocks away. The walk was super easy and really nice. He talked about trying to find a job in the GC area so we could ride the train together. I see couples doing that and even taking their kids to school on the train. We found the correct building,located the gate to walk in and then I fell.

Yup – I faceplanted right outside the building. I twisted my right ankle and ripped up my left knee. By some miracle, even though I landed flat on the ground, I didn’t skin my hands, rip any clothes, break my sunglasses or my phone. I was holding my phone, texting and walking and was sure it – or at least the case – was going to break. Nope, it was perfect. But oy was I in a lot of pain. He said I cried out as I fell. In my mind I yelled the F word really loudly as I hit the ground. Note to self, texting and walking is just as bad as texting and driving when you’re a klutz like me.

I sat for a few minutes then he helped me stand. I wobbled for about a minute to catch my breath and stop shaking then started walking since we were getting close to the time we had to be there. We checked in with security and went upstairs. We had to wait for about 40 minutes, but our ACW’s supervisor came out to let us know is was going to be a little while since they were running a little bit behind schedule. Great, no problem. I sat there with my foot propped up on my laptop bag. I saw 1 person I know that I was introduced to via email and then met at several events.

When we were taken back to the conference room, we met the panel: Paula, Allyson and Becky (via phone call). Paula explained about the review process based on both our background and on the state of things these days. She asked us questions if we had any concerns. Then asked why we decided to adopt and a little bit of our background.

She said the reason we were there was 2-fold:

  1. bc husband had a blip from the FBI on his background check. He explained what it was from and that it happened 22 years ago. He elaborated where I’m not going to in this blog.
  2. bc I was in therapy for anxiety. I told her the reasons behind my therapy, which I won’t go into detail here as there are people that could get hurt if I write about it. I told her about my learned coping strategies, that I’m still in touch with my therapist, and that the last year was spent doing a lot of pre-adoption and parenting type therapy.

After we answered the questions, she told us what happens next. We don’t get the results today. (I actually knew this coming into the ARC since I asked a friend what to expect.) They will write up a report, hopefully by tomorrow afternoon, and submit it to the administration. The administration will read the report, check out our file and then give us the approval or denial. They couldn’t tell us if we were approved, but it seemed like we were. However, we’re waiting for the actual official approval before I jump for joy.

She did recommend, though not mandate, that due to our backgrounds, we look into parenting class at either FRC or one of the other agencies. It would help us to make new parenting choices and not fall back on what we grew up with.

After the meeting and we said our good-byes, husband and I were leaving when Paula came out to catch us. She said from the sound of things, her family and upbringing were a lot like mine. We chatted for about 15-20 more minutes about different things like getting firmly entrenched in the local foster/adoption community (that I am and just A-D-O-R-E!), finding friends with parenting strategies we want to emulate and asking them about it, and reading up on as much as we can to learn about foster kids problems, attachments, etc. Regardless of how prepared we think we are, we’re not. And rather than fall back on not ideal parenting strategies, we should start now forming behaviors, etc for our children.

She’s amazing. Seriously. She’s one more amazing person that I’ve met along the way in the past year.

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Adoption Search Terms

I have got to check my search terms more in the future bc this happened in the last month:

  • “becca blog in Miami”
  • owls representing children tattoo”
  • “becca friends orlando fl”
  • “adoption of twins or triplets blogs”
  • “104,000 foster care children”
  • “do i have to take pride classes if i have non relative placement of a friends child in my home to adopt in florida”
  • “family paperwork infographic
  • A handful of “knit wedding veil” and about a dozen variations of “becca blogs

Some of theses are pretty amusing and I’m still baffled that they led to my little blog.

By far, my most visited post is the one about Apple Butter. Even before I posted the link to Pinterest, it got several hits a day. And now, I’m breaking 100 hits a day. Oh Pinterest, I do love thee.

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Orientation… and Books

I can finally count the number of days until our orientation on my fingers. And not use any twice!

10 glorious days until this adoption process becomes a reality.

Every time I tell someone at work that we’re adopting, they’re so happy and excited for us. It’s amazing to see/ hear the different responses and reactions that I’m getting. Also, I love hearing the “I’m adopted” stories from friends. It’s so heartwarming to know that we aren’t alone in this journey.

I was in a different Barnes & Noble tonight buying some awesome books for our 11year old cousin and asked the sales folks where the adoption books were. They had three. I asked where the grandparents books were. They had one. Ugh. Really? I was considering getting a book and giving it to my parents at their anniversary dinner – 42! – as an opening to discuss our adoption plans. However, the lack of books postponed it yet again. Maybe I’m just not looking forward to hearing that we should just “have our own babies” again. Even if I could get pregnant, we would still be adopting.

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Ending 2012 with Some Creativity

This has been a horrible year and I’m so thrilled that it’s almost over. There were way too many deaths, accidents, injuries, hopefully curable diseases/syndromes, and heartbreaks to last a lifetime. Not to mention termites. Never again do I wish to experience this sort of bad luck again. And especially not within a 12 month span. My family has endured so much and we’re still standing. Sort of.

Sorry to start my first entry in many months on a bad note, but it had to be said. There has been some good happen this year. Namely I got a much deserved raise at work, Steve decided to go to law school and took the LSAT (we get the scores in a couple of weeks), and… umm… we have our own place.

Seriously, finding those 3 was like pulling teeth.

Anyhow, tonight I decided to pull my Christmas ornament box out and finish the project that I started last year. Last year I had wrapped all the balls with yarn. I thought there was a color scheme, but it turns out to be blues and greens and other random colors of leftover yarn. Tonight I glued them all down and stuck the ornaments around. I also burned the hell out of my arms and hands in several places. And Lola learned what a hot glue gun was… with her nose.

So without further ado, my adorable wreath!

As far as law school is concerned, we aren’t 100% certain where we will be other then not in Miami. With me supporting us at least his first year, this over the top expensive city just isn’t possible.

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12 Pounds of Fat

For lack of being able to find a picture of 12 pounds of fat, I give you this one of 1 and 5 pounds.

Image source
I have lost 2 of each of the above piles of fat… or 12 pounds!

Today marks the beginning of my 6th week of the Body By Vi 90 Day Challenge – or technically the 5th as I had to wait a week for my second shipment – and I have lost 12 pounds as of this morning.

During my in-between week, I ate horribly as we hadn’t gone grocery shopping in weeks and thought I gained back 3 of the pounds I lost. However, after my first full day back on the shakes, I was down 0.4 from the week prior. Steve says it’s water weight and I’m going to go with that to ease my mind. 😉

My intention when beginning Body By Vi was to keep track of all the meals I ate on here as a sign of accountability. Instead, I re-activated my MyFitnessPal account and started tracking in there. I also track my weight in there, but only the losses! I think putting the gains would detract from the pretty downward line.

When I get down to a reasonable number, I might post how big I got, but it still freaks me out that it got that high.

But for now, I will drink my spinach-vanilla-peanut butter breakfast shake (hey don’t knock it! It’s amazing and creamy!) and look forward to my strawberry-banana (with a whole banana and 6 strawberries) shake for lunch. And Chili’s grilled chicken sandwich and fries for dinner. And about a million glasses of water.

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Twins? Triplets? Oh my!

No, I’m not pregnant… Don’t get your imaginations rolling…

I’ve never truly contemplated having twins or even triplets. Sure, I thought about it but it was totally fleeting. I had my first visit with a Reproductive Endocrinologist last month and a follow up this afternoon. After reviewing the 12 VIALS of blood and the Glucose test results, he informed that that even though I have extreme excess weight (yeah he doesn’t sugar coat it), I am quite healthy. I totally got a double thumbs up when I said I’d lost 10 pounds in the last month. I didn’t mention the overall 10” but it might’ve gotten me a full on dance. He was actually shocked that all my bloodwork was perfect and that my sugars were on the low side.

According to a blog by 2 R.N.’s on The Mayo Clinic website…

A normal fasting blood glucose target range for an individual without diabetes is 70-100 mg/dL (3.9-5.6 mmol/L). The American Diabetes Association recommends a fasting plasma glucose level of 70–130 mg/dL (3.9-7.2 mmol/L) and after meals less than 180 mg/dL (10 mmol/L).

My fasting number was 76. My number after the 2 hour glucose test was 116.

In other words, HELL YEAH!

But back to the twins thing, my RE wants me to sign a waiver before he puts me on Clomid as the risk for multiples increases from 1-2% to 5-12% per pregnancy.  He also gave me a bunch of literature to read and said to look up whatever information I can find to educate myself so I know what we’re getting into.

Adoption is by no means off the table. With Steve starting law school hopefully in the Fall of 2013, babies are on the back burner for the next 3-4 years. There is so much to do during that time including moving to a still unknown state, getting a kick ass job enough to support us both for the bulk of our bills (no pressure there!), supporting him emotionally, financially and everything else while he stresses and freaks over law school and much more. It’ll be a bumpy ride but I know we can get through it. Hell, we got though my MBA during the first 2+ years of our relationship. The major difference is he’s not allowed to work the first year for pretty much any law school.

So yeah.. that’s just a teeny tiny smidge of what’s in my brain.

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PS- Hi lovelies. If you’re reading this then I greatly appreciate you sticking around in my maaany months of not blogging. Here’s hoping that I will be blogging again on a somewhat regular basis. There’s quite a lot going on and that has been going on to catch you up on.

While I am writing this for myself, if you still read, can you comment so I know who’s out there?

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Are You A New Parent?

Or do you know someone that either just gave birth or is about to do so? As you know, I sell AVON and their other 2 lines for teens/ trendy ladies and babies/ toddlers up to age 4. I got this amazing deal in my inbox today….

To all the new moms and dads out there, if you don’t already have a bedding set for your little one, you need to check this out! Normally $120, it’s on major sale for $35 and comes in pink or yellow. I personally would buy the yellow one for both boys and girls, but that’s just me not wanting to go pink overboard for a girl.

4-Piece Tiny Tillia Crib Bedding Set is 100% cotton and includes a decorative quilt (33″ x 42″), crib sheet (53.5″ x 28.5″), bumper (157″ x 9″), and crib skirt (28″ x 52″ x 15″)
Tiny Tillia Crib Bedding Set | BeccaSells.com

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25 Things About Me

I used to be very big on Livejournal. Once, a few months back, I used a blog printing website (LJBook.com) to create a book of all my posts and, that book? It was over 7,000 posts and 4500 pages. Now, keep in mind that I was very active between 2003 and 2008.

But I digress.

I was digging around to find some of my earliest knitting projects posted on LJ and not on Ravelry, and I found one of those “25 Things About Me” lists from January 2009. After reading though it, not a whole lot has changed. It’s posted below with the updates in green.

1. I grew up in the “country” of Miami. There were no sidewalks, no street lamps, and a bunch of horses around the corner. Oh, and the smallest lot in the area was 1 acre.

2. I learned to knit in a bar. By a half drunk girl. <3 Now I’m obsessed with knitting! Seriously love it. However, I have knitting ADD and rarely finish a project before starting a new one (or 3)

3. On that note, I collect yarn for it’s softness and colors. No clue what’ll ever be made with about 2/3’s of my yarn stash. But at least I did finally start organizing it all. (It’s in several bins by yarn weight. I’m actually starting to list about a dozen for sale that I likely won’t ever use.)

4. I am horribly terrified of spiders, rats and, to a lesser degree, snakes.

5. When I was about 12, my “job” was to feed the hundreds of birds that we owned. Did it all the way through high school.

6. Die hard Gator fan. Die Hard. Even though I’m currently enrolled and paying an arm and leg for my MBA at ECU, my love for the Gators vastly outweighs my love for the Pirates. (sorry ECUers!) (Scratch that, graduated May 2010)

7. I tend to start watching shows a season or 2 after they start and then watch every single episode. Like LOST, I got into it 3 episodes to the end of season 4. Then proceeded to watch every episode in a matter of weeks to catch up. (Yup, just did this with both Drop Dead Diva and Secret Life of the American Teenager. Oh, and Firefly. And Doctor Who. And Torchwood.)

8. I have a personal vendetta against Ben Affleck. He got Jennifer Garner pregnant and ruined my favorite show (at the time) – Alias. (I fully admit that this is weird, even for me.)

9. I will watch everything J.J. Abrams produced or will produce. By far my favorite producer/ director/ writer. (And bonus, he tries to always cast Greg Grunberg in everything he does! Love him!)

10. I want to have lots and lots of babies. And have a list of names that I love. Now to find names I love that overlap with names Steve loves. (uhh yeah, still have that list, but the overlapping list is far far shorter. Blah.)

11. I was engaged right out of college. My feelings for him paled in comparison to the person I truly loved when I was in college. We’re talking head over heels love as compared to lukewarm love. And we never even dated, that’s the sad part. (He and I are both married now, obviously to different people, but seeing his wedding pics was a bit bittersweet.)

12. I’d basically given up on online dating when I met Steve. I had no idea how things would end up even though I did know there was something special and different about him on our 1st date.

13. I proposed.

14. My parents have 25+ dogs and I can name them all… but only when I’m there and looking at them. And yes, the majority of them look exactly alike except for a few markings. (They’re down to about 20 now… I think. I honestly don’t know bc they’re never all out at the same time.)

15. I have 5 tattoos and counting, but not a single one is anywhere that will be affected by being pregnant or nursing my kids. 3 on my ankles, 1 on my neck and 1 on my hip. (7 now! The other 2 are on the collar bone and on the left wrist.)

16. I was raised in a Reform Jewish synagogue and had a Jewish education until the 10th grade. I have been celebrating Christmas with Jen’s family since I was 16-17 years old and can never even remember when the Jewish holidays are.. let alone observe them. Jen or my mom has to tell me.

17. Stars are my favorite shape and 12 my favorite number. (Other favorite numbers are 843 and 42, with the latter being 1/3 of my latest tattoo.)

18. One of my tattoo’s is a seemingly random cluster of 37 stars – 3 different shapes/ sizes. There is nothing random as I drew it in Photoshop very deliberately with a specific design in mind. Also, the 4th and smallest stars were left off as they’d have been nothing but a needle prick.

19. I taught myself web design when I was a freshman at UF. I didn’t like my dorm roommate very much and spent all my free time in CIS Lab (the computer lab) tearing apart websites to figure out how they’re made.

20. The majority of my friends in college were made on IRC back when the internet was safe – yes, there was a time when it was safe! We all met up in #uf and had reunions in Gainesville for years afterwards. Many of them I’ve found again thanks to FB!

21. By that token, I got online in 1994

22. When I finish my MBA (May 2010) I will be able to manage at IT department, and also know what they’re talking about since I’ll have been coding websites for almost exactly half my life. (At my age, that’s a feat!) (Will be able, err, am able… yet still unemployed by MBA standards. Grr.)

23. I’m a label whore when it comes to my purses. I own Coach, Lucky Brand, loads of Vera Bradley and a knock off Kate Spade. (While I do have a few Coach bags and tons of Vera Bradley’s, my favorite is a no name faux leather bag from Kohl’s.)

24. I’d love, more then anything, to learn more about my dad’s mother Clara. My brothers and I didn’t find out she’d even existed until a few years ago and it was unbelievably weird and freaky to find out that his step-mother wasn’t his real mom. It was also somewhat of a relief since she always treated me like I was the most horrible person ever. BTW, Clara died when my dad was very very young before he was moved to Florida from Chicago. (I still don’t know very much, though I do know her maiden name. However, that’s about where my knowledge ends. :()

25. I am the only bridge of communication between my parents and brothers and my dad’s step-mom’s family. My “cousins” are awesome even if the parental/ grandparental generations don’t get along.

*wow. that was really difficult to come up with.*

Clearly I haven’t changed all that much in the last 2.5 years.

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