not wedding

Really, Marie Claire?

How many other posts are going to be about this article today and in the coming weeks? I fully intended this to just be a tweet [and Facebook] post, but I had a really hard time staying within my 140 characters and not stringing together 4 or 5 tweets. So here we are…

The post in question on Marie Claire [magazine]: Should “Fatties” Get a Room? (Even on TV?)

This post can’t get much more offensive. And not just to me, but to the thousands of commenters, Tweeters and Facebook posts degrading the author, the magazine and, of course, the post. I have my own issues with weight loss and never would have seen this blog post, as I don’t read Marie Claire (and now, never will), had it not been all over my Twitter and Facebook feeds.

Do I want the author, or her editor, fired? I dunno. Do I want them reprimanded? Yes. Seriously reprimanded! The author wrote about an emotional subject and, as it turns out, she’s struggled with anorexia for many many years. The editor, however, published her rant. I saw posted elsewhere that had she been talking about a different race, they would both be prosecuted almost immediately.

It’s just disgusting that people think like this. Do people look at me and think that I am repulsive, vile and just plain disgusting for being so fat? If so, I really hope that they don’t pretend to be my friend. Anyone that thinks that way needs to get the hell out of my life. Not because I don’t want to deal with snide comments, but because I have no use for negativity or fake-to-my-face people in my life. Unfriend me, it’s OK. You don’t have to tell me that this is why.


My thoughts on the post? Yes, I know I am fat. I am also healthy, according to my last doctor. In fact, I am the biggest I’ve been in my entire 34 years. And yet I love myself. Most of the time. And my husband, G-d love him, loves me too. In fact, he’s told me that I don’t need to lose weight unless it really bothers me or will make having kids easier on me. Total acceptance even on the days when I don’t accept myself.

That's me, far left. 10 years old in 1986. Hello 80s hair!

What a major change it is to hear that. My mom was always extremely skinny – size 2 or 4 at their wedding 39 years ago – and after having 3 children, she obviously gained weight. Some of my earliest memories, and those I wish I could remove from my brain, are those of being forced to go to diet meeting after diet meeting with my mom, her friends and their “fat” daughters. I’ve seen pictures of myself between ages 10-13 (like the one to the left) and I simply wasn’t a fat kid. We had no video games. We played outside a lot. I was healthy. We biked, skated, and climbed trees. I ate a mostly normal diet. We were all forced to eat “rabbit” food because that’s what mom cooked.

One of my most vivid memories from my pre-teen years was the absolute joy at being able to fit into my size 29 [waist] Guess? jeans. I was ecstatic. I was also just going through puberty, so those jeans didn’t last long when the hips expanded into a perfect hourglass figure.

In the last few years, I decided I did want to make a change. It took every ounce of will to join Weight Watchers. I joined, I lost some weight, then I lost my desire to continually count points and not truly enjoy going out. So I quit, and gained weight back. I decided I would rather enjoy my life as best I could.

As it turns out, you only live once. I know! Duh. But yeah, I choose enjoyment over constant struggles.

Even now, with my last batch of blood tests, my doctor is crazy thrilled about how perfect my lab work is. She is of the mindset that healthy means healthy no matter what size your clothes say. Yes, I loved her. She never once said I needed to lose weight. She wasn’t concerned with me being pre-diabetic since my numbers were perfect. She even flat out told me I was far healthier than half her super skinny, always dieting patients with horrible lab results. Them, she was worried about. Me, not so much.

Her main concern for me was how much dieting at such an early age had traumatized me. She promoted healthy eating, not buying frozen dinners chock full of preservatives and other crap, and moving more frequently. Since then, I won’t even touch frozen dinners. Most of our meals are home made. I don’t touch fast food if I can help it. (And by that, I mean I eat fast food like once every few months.) I actually eat very little and pick at my food unless I’m actually famished.

So there you have it… my 2 cents on the subject. OK, more like 5 since this turned out longer than I’d anticipated. 😀


Fingers Crossed!

I have something pretty exciting in the works and would love for you to cross your fingers and toes for me. No, it’s not wedding related, but it is happiness and peace-of-mind related!

Sorry to be cryptic, but it’s a must right now. =D


Happy Birthday to Me!

18 months old

Today is my birthday (woop woop!) and I’m 34 years old. No, I’m not awake at 5:25am, I scheduled this post for my time of birth. For many years my mother would call me at 5:25am (like a crazy person) and tell me that I was born. I think she thought she was funny.

Anyhow, here’s to the many hours of labor my mom went through exactly 34 years ago. Thanks for not giving up on me and for giving me at least one sibling that I like.

Today will be a good day.
It has to be!

edited at 11:45am to say that my mom told me (at 9am) that had I not said I’d be up until around 2am, she would have called at 5:25am… She’s so predictable!


Lifetime Student.. Or Why I Kinda Want Another Degree.

Hello hello!

Today, of all days, I started to really miss school. Ya see, I graduated in May with my Masters in Business (MBA) and was convinced that I never wanted to return to school. My MBA saw me through 5 years, living in 3 cities, 2 states, countless relationships, 1 fiance, tons of stress, several long nights typing frantically away, new friends, an $85,000 bill*, and a huge sense of accomplishment. Oh yeah, it was 100% online and I never set foot on the campus of East Carolina or even visited Greenville, NC.

Today, I started looking up online degree programs for major Florida universities (hello in-state tuition!) and trying to find something of interest. Ideally I would love to do Human Resources or something technology related. During my last semester at ECU, I discovered an entire degree in Networking and Web Design. Holy hell. Had I known it existed back in 2005, I would have that instead of an MBA. But no, I have my MBA… oh yeah and a concentration in Management Information Systems.

When I first was interested in doing a concentration, there were very few that were taught completely online. MIS was one of them. Human Resources was not. Duh, I obviously picked the one that wouldn’t require a 2+ hour commute to Greenville for classes. No, wait, I was still living in Gainesville, FL at the time, so make that about 9 hours for the commute.

What does this mean? It means that I am seriously contemplating returning to school for a year or 2 (program depending) providing that I can find a Florida school with a degree of interest. And that offers financial aid. No sense in going back to school if it won’t halt my student loan payments, right?

Yes, I do believe that I am certifiable in wanting to do this again. The last 5 years was a very long and very frustrating time in my life. They were also extremely rewarding. Can the good outweigh the hair pulling? Time will tell…

* It looks far worse written as $85,000 than it does as $85K. This includes 3 years of out-of-state and 2 years of in-state tuition, plus extra cash to pay off bills and credit cards which, in turn, bumped up my credit score.


Not so Quickie Update

In the last few weeks, we’ve had the following wedding progress:

* booked our airfare — yes, this ranks as the absolute highest since it was such a chore! But alas, we have non stop flights to/from Vegas from the 8th to the 13th for $390.99 including the flights, taxes, fees, airline club fees, AND insurance. I may be taking a risk by booking on Spirit Air, but there’s a few reasons why I am OK with it. Namely being in touch with their head of customer service via twitter and email the last few weeks, and also Cat’s sister is working for them. Both make me feel good about the decision. Also you can’t beat that price for 2 people ON a holiday weekend with a stick! Now the problem is finding a hotel room for the 8th since our reservation in the suite is for the 9th-13th. Also, this puts us $200 under our travel budget!

* guest list — I finally typed the names from all the labels and the slips of paper mom gave me into Excel. I was somewhat shocked to find out that it added up to 189 warm bodies including children. The reception will be open to all families, totally casual and just plain fun. Honestly, as much as my head is saying no, I think it’d be completely fun to have a bounce house! The whole shindig is in my parents back yard and guests will have roughly 4-5 acres to roam and play on during the party.

* designed and had printed 2 more stamps for wedding/ post-wedding use — the first is a super fabu address stamp that went through tons of changes before being agreed upon. The other is a stamp for the back of the RSVP envelopes. The envelope stamp says “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” Love Robert Frost! These 2 and the original one I had printed were done by the crazy talented BlossomStamps.

* purchased clear labels and downloaded loads of new fonts — yes, I am both lazy and cheap and will be using labels for our invites. The font I finally decided upon is called “MA Sexy” which amuses me, but whatever. It is both easily read and super flourishy. LOVE!

* cupcake tower — during a shopping trip to Home Depot to get the pieces for the tower, dad pointed out that we can do as many projects for the Miami reception, but not Vegas. His idea is to use short pieces of PVC pipe since I was going to wrap whatever I bought with blue painter’s tape anyhow and he has tons of piping. I’m also going to use 2 of the leftover door knobs from our new cabinets since there are a bunch left over.

* cupcake wrappers — I bought 3 shades each of orange and blue 12×12 card stock from Michael’s. After cutting them all out, I’m planning on stamping and embossing the following logo onto each. Steve said he prefers mini cupcakes, so we’ll be getting 4 dozen of those from Retro Bakery. I asked and was told we get 2 flavors per dozen, which is great and all, but their flavors are aMAZing and picking 8 will be torture!

* crinoline — I haven’t ordered one yet as I’m sort of hoping to find one locally. The only problem is I can’t find a store locally that sells square dance outfits. I might just suck it up and order the one from Petticoat Junction. I want a pale blue one, but think getting white and dying it on my own might be a better option than hoping they sell the right color.

In totally non-wedding related news:
* ECU finally recognized me as a graduate with 2 degrees (the MBA and the MIS certificate)
* I am officially a Florida drivers license holder, now to get Luna transferred as well
* I am the somewhat proud owner of an iPhone. Somewhat because the signal is horrendous, but that may be due to it being an old phone.


New Techie Toy

I got a new iPhone last week and after much battery draining, I finally think I have it all [ok, mostly] figured out. Now, what are your favorite apps? I’m really only looking for the free ones right now.

I have:
Emoji for Free
Livejournal App
Sudoku 2
Unblock me Free (addicted to this!!)
Weather Channel
Words with Friends Free (i’m msrib on there.. find me!)
Yowza!! Mobile Coupons

Looking for wedding planning, fun games, baby planning (nothing yet, just planning), and other fun stuff. What are your faves?


News, Kinda huge.

So… considering how much I share with the world and how open I am with everything about my life, this one has been ridiculously hard to keep quiet. I mean, my parents hear details about my wedding from friends of theirs that I don’t even know. Someone, somewhere tells them stuff, which I find highly amusing considering how non-tech savvy my parents (OK, my mom) are.

But anyhow, this news. Looks like it’s a good thing that I sold the dress cuz if it didn’t fit me now, it’s certainly not going to fit me in 6 months when I’m closing in on the end of my pregnancy. Anyone want to send some ridiculously cute empire waist maternity wedding dresses my way??

How many tests did you take to make sure it was really real?? Yes, I knew I’d be posting this eventually and have been keeping a pregnancy journal. Oh c’mon, I can’t keep anything to myself!


Impending Graduation

Cap and gown, etc were ordered on Wednesday… They arrived Thursday! I just had to take a picture in my double-tasseled cap. I decided not to walk in the graduation ceremony after all. With everything happening in the next few months between moving and saving for Vegas, it just didn’t make financial sense. Instead, we’re going to take a little family trip somewhere and take tons of pictures with me in my cap and gown.

Also, I am heavily considering moving this blog to a real website – as in one that I own. From what I understand, Blogger isn’t exactly easy to work with, but have any of you done such a transfer? I’m sure I could move it to WordPress then do the transfer, but I’d like to avoid the middle step. One of these days I’m going to do a major overhaul of our website and pop the blog over there.