[Re-]Defining Motherhood

Several conversations with both friends and Steve over the last few days have got me thinking about motherhood. I used to think that I couldn’t be a mom unless I got pregnant and gave birth. Now I, of course, know that there are other options like adoption, foster-adoption, IVF, and surrogacy. Becca of younger years would never have dreamed having children any way other than by giving birth herself.

Over the past few months, I have come to not only accept adoption as how our children will join our family, but embrace it. I’m sure a huge part of this is my [suspected] broken reproductive system, but more on that later. As mentioned in the last non-new-blog post, we are heavily leaning towards foster-adoption. This hasn’t changed and our friend is helping gather the info we’ll need for this to happen. We are certainly no experts on this topic and have a lot to learn, but feel it might be our best option.

It’s starting to dawn on me that I don’t need to give birth to be a mother. Yes, I’m a bit slow, but pregnancy was always a part of my future when I was a child. I already mother all the little ones in my life and I obviously didn’t give birth to them, so why put constraints on my own children?

It’s tough for me, and my ridiculous reproductive health is making it worse. In short, I haven’t had a period in over 90 days. Yes, I’ve taken a bunch of pregnancy tests both at home, the clinic place, and the ER and every one of them has read a resounding not pregnant. If I actually was pregnant, then this kid would be made of steel or something seeing as I’ve been X-ray’d and taken hard core drugs for both the flu and pneumonia over the last month. Oh, and before I get all the advice to lose weight, I am working on it. However, I’m fairly certain that it’s not a weight thing. For the first 11 years of having a period, it was never ever regular. We’re talking at most 5 times a years and lasting for weeks at a time. Talk about hell for a junior high and high schooler!

Anyhow, not much else to talk about. Right now it’s just a lot of adoption research. Also, we’re taking a database class together which is a little time consuming. And of course, this new blog design which had sucked up my entire life the last few weeks. Not to mention writing thank you notes, sleeping, working, and little bits of knitting here and there when I’m tired of doing everything else.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!


6 comments on “[Re-]Defining Motherhood

  1. Sarah Nelson

    “Yes, I’ve taken a bunch of pregnancy tests both at home, the clinic place, and the ER and every one of them has read pregnant.”

    I think you meant the opposite. 😉

    It’s weird how back and forth I’ve been. I’m finally okay with giving birth, but watch me be unable to get pregnant for some reason. You never know, and I won’t know till we start trying in 2-3 years. I’ve been on BC for 12 years now. Here’s to motherhood, in any form! =)

    1. Becca

      yep.. oops! 😉

      I really hope you’re perfectly able to have kids! It just irks me that all I ever wanted was to have kids and my body is revolting against me. Oh well, babies are babies are babies no matter how they join our family or how old they are. <3

  2. Marie

    You know I’ve had the same problem repeatedly. I went for 6 months without a period once! I just got mine two days ago after 72 days! (this time) I was taking promethium (progesterone) for about 6 months in hopes that my levels would come up and “kick start” my system. Obviously that didn’t work. But thank you now I feel inspired to blog about my “infertility” ” low fertility” experience. (when I get a chance)

    1. Becca

      Happy to have been of some inspiration. 🙂 It’s so frustrating that this is happening… to both of us!

  3. Georgia

    coming from someone who never wanted to have children, now that I am dating someone that might actually want kids, I know that adoption or foster is my only option. I know that I am too old to get pregnant and have high hopes of a healthy baby. I hope you have lots of luck with your baby adventures.

  4. Meredith

    Have you been checked for PCOS? I don’t recall you saying one way or the other, but it sounds like something to look into. Also, my dad’s girlfriend was 40 when she conceived her first and only child, and she suffers from PCOS. She thought she’d never have any kids. My grandmother’s brother ended up adopting their first son because they thought they’d never have any biological children. They ended up having two boys later on. No matter how your kids come into your family, I know you’re going to love and cherish them.

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