We just got our first call about a child and are supposed to set a time to meet with her therapist and case worker next week to ask all the questions we can possibly come up with before being introduced to her. She is several years older than our age range, but I’ve been keeping track of her for months (6-7 at least) and was super excited to put in an inquiry about her last week.
Aside from the few questions I’ve been mulling over, I really need your help. What questions should we ask?
From her profile online, she does well in school and the few minutes I spoke with the case manager for her agency, I’ve figured out that she’s currently in a foster home near where we live. She is 12/13 and the last time we spoke to someone about her, she was in an adoption placement, there was an incident and she’s still available. Obviously we’re going to ask what happened. Also about her parents, siblings, extended family, and known abuse, etc.
Past that, I’m looking to all my foster/adoption groups for help. (Incidentally, I really apologize if you see this multiple times!)
We’re going straight adoption if that makes a difference in the questions.
In advance, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much!
Ask about her likes & dislikes. Find out how she was during the transfer to the new home. Ask her how you can make this better for her! Stoop down & talk to her at eye level! Ask if she’d like to transfer to a school nearer to your home or if she could stay in the same school. Ask about her friends! Tell her that you’d like to make her a permanent part of your family & that you’ll LOVE HER FOREVER!!!
Oh, Becca – how exciting! I have no advice for you because our path was so different from yours, but I will be sending all kinds of positive energy your way. xo
aieeeee I am so excited!!!
Well, I work as an adoption Homefinder and hopefully I can provide some insight. I do this all the time, interviewing parents as potential forever families for children. First thing is, you have to ask yourself, what do you think you can handle? Helping a child through previous trauma means dealing with some behaviors that can sometime be extreme. Children can heal in foster care but children heal best in relationships, which means a Family. Go to this website to start studying trauma,
Ask, why did the child come in foster care
Does she have siblings and do they need to maintain contact, are there any other relatives that the child would like to maintain contact. I know it is hard for families, but birth family contact may be important to some kids, especially teens.
Is there any maternal or paternal history of mental illness, like depression, bi polar disorder, etc
Schizophrenia does not onset until sometimes 16 to 20.
Is there any history of sexual abuse, and if there is, has there ever been any sexual reactivity.
How many placements has she been in since being in foster care.
If there was a failed adoption, what were the circumstances.
Does she have an IEP, individual educational plan through the school system
Is she developmentally on target?
What are her fears about adoption, if any
Has she ever expressed what she is looking for in a family?
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
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