I spoke to both TH and CW last night about Ballerina. We have our 3rd play date on Sunday, but aside from picking up the pottery, not sure yet. We’re going to come up with some ideas and see what she wants to do.
CW said everything sounded great – she had also spoken to TH – and I told her we are ready to move forward towards adopting Ballerina.
Husband and I have been non-stop discussing everything involved and feel good about our decision. There is uncertainty not really knowing how Ballerina is feeling about us, but aside from “time” we don’t know how else to truly know. TH says she’s happy and excited, but we want to hear it from her. Does that make sense? We know they talk a lot and she trusts him, but we’ll be her parents and we hope that she will open up to us more about our combined future.
We are still making assumptions about her based on being a teenager, super shy, scared of rejection, etc, etc, etc and none of them are really fair. We cannot generalize how we think she feels when she is a totally unique kid. I mean, if she turns out being the kind of teenager I was, we are golden. However, if she’s like my best friend, well, we’re in trouble. (Love you, my Zeffer!)
A-N-Y-W-A-Y… back to the CW’s call. She said we should do a few more weekends of supervised visits. It will take her a few weeks to get the paperwork done and approved for us to have unsupervised visits anyhow. Then she asked me if I could help her get a copy of our signed home study.
I thought we were the only ones that didn’t have it! Silly me, I thought when we were told our home study had been sent to Our Kids, that it meant the completed and signed one. She said without the signature, we cannot move forward as she can’t submit the unsigned one to the judge.
So this morning I sent off a very nice email requesting for FRC to please send the signed home study to CW as we had been matched and would like to move forward. And 3 minutes later received emails saying both our ACW and her supervisor were out of the office until next Tuesday.
Patience is SO not a virtue that I willingly possess.
Getting the signed home study is nothing to worry about; since it’s done, it’s just a bit of paperwork at the office. (Ours wasn’t ever “officially” finished until after we had Julia home with us. Same with Asher, actually, since we had to renew it so quickly when he was born!)
I’m so glad to hear this is going so well for all of you, and glad also that you are being so sensitive to her thoughts and feelings on the whole thing. Not that I would expect anything else, it’s just that it’s so different when it’s a teenager versus a younger child; they have so much more agency, and they know what they want, and it would be really easy in one’s excitement to brush that off. I’m so glad to see you’re not letting your excitement get in the way of you keeping your head. 🙂
We’ve been waiting a month for it. It seems that ACW forgot her promise to mail it to us… But up until this point, it was OK. In order to get anything before the judge to change her status, it needs to be signed. Maybe it’s different between private and foster care..?
This kid.. seriously.. I have a hard time thinking about anything but her. I can’t imagine what it will be like when she’s living in our home!