Sure, we may have been husband and wife for, um, 18 days, but we both have babies on the brain. At a family dinner a couple weeks ago, he asked my mom and aunt if there were twins in our family. Twins.
I want twins. He wants twins. It appears that we both have at least one set of fraternal twins in our families. A set of twins would be the only time I birthed babies. No twins and we’d attempt to have 4. Yeah, I said 4.
Why are we rushing into kids? We’re not, not really. The end of November we will be together for 3 years. I know a lot of people say wait and enjoy the first year of marriage and travel together and just get settled in. Do we wait until we’re “ready” or accept that we’ll never truly know when that happens? Or do we say we’re not getting any younger and go for it?
Anytime we discuss kids, we bring up how old we’ll be when they graduate college assuming they’re born within the year. Currently it’s 52 and almost 58. Yes, we’re late bloomers. By the time my mom was my age, she’d already had the 3 of us. Steve’s mom already had 4 by my age.
Also, we’ve picked out 2 names, 1 for each sex, and lately he wants to change them. Our boy has been named for well over a year: Elias Tiberius. He thinks Tiberius might be a bit too big for a kid and that he’d have too much to live up to.. OK, maybe I agree. But I still like it. And his first name will be Elias regardless of his middle name. Our girl name was picked out during the last few episodes of LOST: Evangeline Lily or Evie as a nickname. His theory is naming a kid after someone is a little weird. I never thought I would, but I might have to fight for Evangeline. Whether her middle name is Lily or not, I’m not sold on it.
Who knows. What happens, happens. Do I want to be pregnant immediately? Sure. Will it happen? Ehh not likely. I did buy What to Expect Before You’re Expecting last weekend as like a prep course. I haven’t cracked it open yet except to read him parts as we were standing in line.
What is your Birth Path? How long after getting married is/ was your plan to have/ adopt kids and are you on track?
You realize that you’re supposed to read that book BEFORE you start trying, right? Dork. Are you taking a pre-natal every day that has the proper amount of Folic Acid? Folic Acid is vital in spinal cord development, and it should be taken in the proper doses starting at about 6 weeks before you get pregnant. Moms who lack folic acid tend to have spinal cord deformities – and that spinal cord is pretty important. How’s your nutrition? Have you been exercising every day? Getting enough protein, calcium, and iron before AND during your pregnancy is very, very important. If you are lacking what the baby needs, it will strip it from you – lack of calcium is why women end up with their teeth getting all messed up during pregnancy. A lack of iron puts you into the high-risk category and could mean super invasive monitoring and procedures during labor. And have you looked into the cost of having a baby? It’s a bit obscene in this country!!
AHHHH! WORST. BOOK. EVER.
I recommend the following:
Taking charge of your fertility by Toni Weschler
The thinking woman’s guide to a better birth by Henci Goer
ANYTHING by Ina May Gaskin, but PARTICULARLY Ina May’s Guides to Pregnancy and Breastfeeding, and Spiritual Midwifery
A child is born by Lennart Nilsson (AWESOME REAL FETAL DEVELOPMENT PHOTOS!!!!)
There are more, but those are good starting points. <3
Crunchy hippy alert! Have you interviewed potential care providers? I cannot stress enough the importance of a supportive care provider who will treat you as you wish to be treated. If nothing else, this is something very important — you’ll have to see this person once a month for several months, then every other week, then every week, and then for labor and delivery. Scope out locations. Where you are, you’ve got hospitals, a really nice birth center (I hear a lot of stories about it through ICAN), and I’m sure there are several great midwives.
That’s my two cents. Of course, prenatal vitamins are a great thing to take whether you plan to get pregnant right away or not — surprise babies aren’t thinking about what mommy and daddy want, so it’s better to have that in your system already. You could also pretend like you’re already pregnant and give up alcohol, soft cheese, sushi, cold-cuts, etc. — or not.
And since I already know your opinion on this, you might want a good quality electric pump. If you plan to go back to work after x amount of time, the pump will be a lifesaver. Three and a half years and two babies later, my pump is still awesome and kicking.
Happy TTCing!
We will probably wait another couple of years. For a few reasons…at this point in his schooling he really needs to concentrate on finishing his classes. He takes his oral exam either this summer or early next fall, and has to pass in order to continue, so he needs to be able to concentrate for that. Another is that my health insurance sucks. I have a 10k maternity deductible and would like to have at least most, if not all, of that saved before we have a baby. I know I could do a payment plan with a hospital but I’d much rather have it in the bank ahead of time if I can. If we had an accident right this moment, though, we would make do and be excited.
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