May122013

Mother’s Day and the Timeline to Adoption

I posted this on Facebook yesterday:

Next year I will be celebrating Mother’s Day with my own child. *shivers*

To which, amongst others, received this comment:

How quickly will you guys have your little one?

To which I responded and also thought.. what a great blog post!

This is the timeline that we’re working with at the moment:

  • Our orientation class is June 20th.
  • From there, we will sign up for our 10 weeks of PRIDE classes (PDF link) which should end right around my birthday in August/September.
  • After that, we will have our home study done – I was told it had to be completed within 90 days of completion of our classes – so by the end of November.
  • While that home study is being completed, we will be looking at all the photolistings of children.
  • Once our home study is approved for adoption, we will select children we want more information about based on their limited online profiles and our social worker will reach out to their social worker and see if we’re a match. If we are, we will get their file and arrange to meet him/her/them.
  • The timeframe from here on is a little shaky as we really don’t know how long this can take.
  • After we spend time with him/her/them, we will have a few sleepovers, then they will move in.
  • If all goes well, 6 months later, we will finalize the adoption in court and apply for new birth certificates.

There are hundred of thousands of children in US foster care. Roughly 40% of them are legally free and available for adoption. The term “special needs” refers to children due to specific factors or conditions such as being over 8, having a particular racial or ethnic background, being part of a sibling group needing to be placed together, medical conditions, and physical, mental, or emotional handicaps.

Now, why do I keep saying “him/her/them” – we have not fully decided boy or girl or one of each. If we can move into a 3-4 bedroom home, we can open our home and lives up to more children. 2 is our max sibling group size at the moment. I do still want a boy and a girl, but we’ve been told that they need their own rooms. So, master, boy room, girl room, office = 4 bedrooms. Unless we can find a super huge master bedroom or a closet-less den to use for an office, we can go to a 3 bedroom.

Anyone know of 3-4 bedroom 2-3 bathroom homes in the Palmetto Bay/ Cutler Bay, West Kendall area for under $1,400 a month? Our current lease is up in August so we’re on the hunt for new digs!

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May112013

Lack of Adoption Books

We were at Barnes & Noble yesterday afternoon and I brought a whole stack of mommy and daddy books to the table to flip through. Every time I mentioned “my kid..” I would get choked up. Eventually Steve stopped LSAT prep (I know, I’m a bad influence) and was flipping through the books too and we were both reading from them.

Sadly, B&N only had 1 adoption book and it was about adopting an infant internationally. Yeah, Doesn’t help me. I’m actually quite surprised that there aren’t more. I didn’t even find Instant Mom by Nia Vardalos – and one of my very favorite non-fiction books – in the adoption section. It’s pretty pathetic that the typically 2-3 adoption titles are crammed in with the pregnancy, child birth and raising your child books. What about the “I got a 5-6-7-8-etc year old child and need to know what to do” book? Where are they?

Maybe I should write one. Or at least, keep a fairly consistent blog for a few months before I debate getting in that far over my head.

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May092013

One Year Later

Here’s a disclaimer for you… I wrote this long, beautiful, tear-worthy post 2 nights ago. Then I updated my blog without backing it up and lost the post. I also lost the last 18 months of posts, changes, etc, but thanks to GoDaddy, that stuff is all back. The amazing post, lost. Forever.

I will eventually attempt to re-create it.

But for now, I will write about a beautiful woman that my children will never meet. My grandmother.

DancingQueen

NurseMimi

MagCover

She was an awesome lady and I miss her terribly.

She was my last living grandparent – Steve’s too – so our children will never have great grandparents. I still have 3 great aunts on my mom’s side and who know what family I have on my father’s side – he has no known blood family. And unless my brothers have kids, they won’t have any cousins they’ll see on a regular basis either. We have 4 nephews on Steve’s side. I’ve met 2 of them once, and the other 2 I will likely never meet.

But alas, family. I feel for my kids for never having known this cool lady. She was a world traveler, professional ballroom dancer, Realtor, hotel owner (on South Beach no less!). She vacationed in Cuba, rode camels in Egypt, and lived in the same house my mom grew up in to the very end.

The list of her accomplishments is long and distinguished…
– Civic leader and community activist.
– Pioneering member of Temple Beth Am in Kendall
– Past president of Coral Division of NCJW
– Active member of GMJF
– Founder at Miami Jewish Home
– Concert Association and Cancer Link
– Loyal member of the board and dinner committee of the Theodore R.Gibson Memorial Fund
– Business woman
– Hotel owner
– Partner with Fashion designer the late Raoul Arango
– Assistant district Sales Manager for Keyes Company
– Mentor to many young realtors
– Competitive ball room dancer in her spare time

Mimi Abel | October 5, 1920 – May 9, 2012

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May012013

PRESS RELEASE Florida Legislature Passes Bill Redesigning Foster Care Independent Living Program

This is such amazing news! Now older kids can be adopted and have their benefits continue through age 21. So awesome!

TALLAHASSEE –Florida lawmakers today approved monumental legislation that redesigns the foster care independent living program. The Florida House today took up and approved Senate Bill 1036, sponsored by Senator Nancy Detert. The Florida Senate on Friday renamed the legislation to the “Nancy C. Detert Common Sense and Compassion Independent Living Act” and voted 38-0 in favor of the bill. The bill passed the House today on a vote of 116-1.

The legislation is backed by the Department of Children and Families and is based on recommendations made by the Independent Living Services Advisory Council (ILSAC). It will give young adults the option to remain in foster care until the age of 21 in order to finish high school, earn a GED, pursue post-secondary education or begin a career. The bill strengthens the role of foster parents, restructures the Road-to-Independence Program and empowers caregivers to provide high quality, nurturing parenting for children in foster care.

“I want to thank the Florida Legislature, especially bill sponsors Sen. Detert and Rep. Perry, for passing this landmark piece of legislation that will change the lives of countless youth who age out of foster care,” said Department of Children and Families Secretary David Wilkins. “With this legislation, which is truly the voice of our young people, our youth will have the same opportunity as our own children to be successful adults.”

Young people who age out of foster care face significant challenges as they make the transition to adulthood on their own. Currently, nearly 3,000 young adults are receiving Independent Living services.

Last fall, Secretary Wilkins appointed 18 new members to the ILSAC and named a new director of Independent Living Services to overhaul the program. The Council called for the redesign of the state program and expanding foster care from age 18 to age 21 after survey results showed many challenges and successes for children in foster care and those who have aged out.

“The Council is committed to continuing to seek ways to redesign the program to help youth in foster care and young adults who have aged out have the best chance of success in life,” said Bob Garner, Chair of Florida’s ILSAC. “We appreciate Secretary Wilkins putting forth our recommendations as a legislative priority and the many advocates and lawmakers who supported this bill.”

The independent living bill is the second of two DCF legislative priorities to improve outcomes for children in foster care passed during the 2013 Legislative Session. The “Letting Kids be Kids” bill, sponsored by Sen. Nancy Detert and Rep. Ben Albritton, was signed into law by Governor Rick Scott on April 11. The new law empowers foster parents to make day-to-day decisions for foster children in their care and reduces regulations that are barriers for kids in foster care to enjoy participation in extracurricular, enrichment or social activities.

For more information on Independent Living services to youth aging out of the foster care system, please visit http://www.myflfamilies.com/service-programs/independent-living

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Apr302013

Dreaming of Decorating their Bedrooms

Last week I stopped at Target to pick up 2 items and made the mistake of not going right to the grocery section for said items. You can already see where this is heading, right? First I hit up the clothing section – picked out 2 cute tops that got put back later – then the workout clothing section – a girl needs new yoga pants – then the sock department then as I was heading to the storage container section, I walked into pink and blue heaven. I mean, the children’s room section. Seriously, there’s some cute stuff out there. Sure, I admit that I wanted most of it for myself, but that’s why we decorate kid’s rooms right? Yes, I’m going to allow my child(ren) to decorate their rooms, but don’t think I won’t have some personal mom touches in there.

Holy crap. I’m going to be a mom.

Yep, tears springing into my eyes.

Anyhow, cute stuff. See? OK, so I hit up Pinterest too.

 

My favorite idea!

I’m super peeved bc the Pinterest link-love doesn’t work so these had to be manually linked. If anyone has figured out how to get this to work with WordPress, please let me know!

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Apr292013

The Last Two Weeks

In the last 2 weeks since deciding to move forward with the foster-adoption process, I have. . .

  • Been in touch several times with the adoption advocate at Our Kids of Miami-Dade County
  • Scheduled our Orientation class at which we will schedule our 10-weeks of PRIDE classes (PDF link)
  • Joined a gym to ensure I will be around for a very long time for my child(ren)
  • Committed to work on my personal problems
  • Had breakfast with Steve that turned into brunch as we sat for 3 hours talking to a realtor about buying a home, her connections for jobs at UM and FIU, our lives, her schedule, real estate classes and so much more
  • And subsequently, spent hours looking up homes between South Miami and Cutler Bay
  • Talked about the process and foster-adoption to loads of people
  • Discovered that my 20th high school reunion is next year – ugh!
  • Gathered a ton of information about my amazing friends on the kind of parents they are (or want to be) and began forming the picture in my mind about my parenting style
  • Got lost in Target in the children’s bedroom aisles – so much pink!
  • Met another couple for dinner that I can’t wait to hang out with a lot more
  • And. . . just submitted my information to take classes to become a CASA volunteer with the Guardian Ad Litem program

More to come! I’m sort of playing catch up and trying not to spew out so much information at once. I hope all my knowledge – and trust me, I learn more about foster-adoption every day – will be helpful for other folks as well. It will be interesting to see how many folks I’ve educated and that also adopt from foster care.  If you’re thinking about it, let me know, OK?

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Apr282013

Let’s Start at the Very Beginning

Well hello there!

This has been a big couple of weeks in the Fletcher home. Two weekends ago, we decided that, yes, it’s time to expand our family. With a human child. Or 2. (as opposed to another furbaby…)

As the first post in my newly revised blog into an Adoption Blog, I’m just going to post all the updates I made on my Facebook the past few weeks.

adopt1

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adopt2

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adopt3

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adopt4

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adopt5

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adopt6

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adopt7

So there you have it. The facebook updates. Coming up will be my [extremely long] elevator speech about the children, the process, and everything else.

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