being positive

A Twist of Fate

We have been hesitant about restarting the adoption process after the utter disaster we had in Miami.

This week, I am in Boynton Beach for my new job. I’ve been staying in an Airbnb alone with hubby at home with Lola and all the packing. All day yesterday I was thinking about Friday’s for dinner. All. Freakin. Day.

Well on a whim, I went to Alehouse instead where I happened to hear a couple across the restaurant mention that they’re adopting. I so so badly want to go over and drill them about how, their timeline, and which agency. I felt like a total creeper, but I did it anyway. Hey, at least I waited until after they paid their check and were leaving.

Thank you:

I approached them outside and she was apprehensive when a total stranger said “I happened to overhear, but are you guys adopting?” So I quickly added that we’d been trying in Miami for several years with no luck and are moving here next week. They both opened up pretty quickly afterwards. And showed me a photo of their future daughter plus gave me names of a handful of other children they’d met along the way.

It took them under a year from their classes, 2 weeks to complete their home study, and their overnight visits start next weekend. They are straight adoption as well and have had ZERO problems and are not required to have a foster license. (Miami agencies refused to consider us for adoption unless we got our foster license.) She said they do a ton of mixers up here to be able to meet the adoptable kids (which we kept asking for in Miami!) and positively raved over the woman I’ve already been in touch with at ChildNet. Their future little one is 4 years old and they’re accelerating the visitation schedule due to her age. She will be living with them within a few weeks. We exchanged info and they said to contact them anytime with questions.

THEY GAVE ME SO MUCH HOPE YOU GUYS!! I called husband to tell him what happened and even he was getting a little bit excited. We so badly want to parent and this may be the solution! Pregnancy may not happen with all the medical issues I’ve been having, but it’s also not being ruled out.

Thank you:


NFPA/FSFAPA Conference & Ballerina

Untitled-1We had an amazing time this past weekend at the NFPA/ FSFAPA Conference. Between meeting folks from across the nation, to playing in the pool with our friends kids, seeing old friends and family, and all the sessions… And not to mention the pillows. OMW the pillows. My bed had 5 of the softest, fluffiest pillows.

But I digress. We both learned a lot about ourselves, the process, and how we can help to empower our future child/ren. We also had 9-10 hours stuck in a car together plus all the down time to talk and to discuss Ballerina. As an aside, we must’ve gotten the “how are things going” question about a dozen times and asked why we hadn’t brought her with us at least twice. We honestly didn’t know that was a possibility.

We decided that yes, we absolutely want to adopt her. We have so much to offer her to help make her way into adulthood in just a few short years. 54-ish months to be exact. (Why is it that things in months sound so much shorter?) We discussed her school, speculated on the kinds of books she liked to read, how she’s spending the summer, her hobbies, family trips we’d take, high school, colleges, and more. Then we questioned if she even wanted to live with us. Wanted to be our daughter.

That question still plagues me. I hope she does. WE hope.

I know in my past posts, I seemed ambivalent about that. But it’s a yes. We want her in our family. We want her to be our daughter.

But in the end, if this doesn’t work out, we only want the best for her. And I genuinely hope she knows that.

We’re told this process can take months and that she (or we) can decide at any time not to move forward. We’ve been asked repeatedly if we are sure. But in the meantime, we are going to do our best to show her that we do want to be her parents.

People question why I write and why I put my entire life out there. Aside from not having anything to hide, it’s cathartic. Writing about my life and our process really helps me. Getting it all out there helps. Sure, there will always be critics and folks that tell me to close the book, stop oversharing, that no one cares. To those people, I say… then don’t read it. I’m not going to change my life to suit you. Unsubscribe, unfollow, block me. I don’t care.


And in my 37th Year…

I interrupt this not-so-regularly updated adoption blog to say that in my 37th year (which, BTdubs, starts today) I plan on doing the following things (in no particular order):

  • Becoming a mommy to a sweet little child from foster care
  • Getting a job worthy of my degree, my experiences, and myself
  • Being the best darn wife and mommy I can be
  • Learning as many new web and design technologies as I can
  • Kicking butt on the technologies I already know
  • Being a better person
  • Learning to speak up for myself appropriately
  • Not letting certain people rule my mind simply bc I am related to them
  •              See also, growing a bigger pair (sorry for that graphic!)
  • Sheep2Skein, push it
  • RS Creative Solutions, push it
  • Bake more
  • Actually make the projects I pin on Pinterest





Last night, I made a one-year plan. I sorta wrote it in the dark so the mega huge Sharpie helped me be able to read it.

Why am I posting it here on this blog that I’ve virtually ignored for months? Accountability. I’m putting it out there into the universe. I want to accomplish all these things.

Some are obvious (lose weight, join a gym, pay off cards) but some aren’t so much.

– Publish 3 more patterns – 2 days ago, i published a pattern on Ravelry for a Cabled Owls Hat I made. The hat was super easy, everyone raved about it, requests have been made for different colors, so I write up the pattern and published it. Within 12 hours, I had 4 sales. Needless to say, I was stoked!

– Push RSCS! – did you know that I’m a web and graphic designer? Of course you do! No really, do you? Steve and I own RS Creative Solutions and it is my goal to push it as hard as I can so that we turn a profit. I even have business cards and car magnets. Woo!

– Dump crappy friends – OK, this one is kinda obvious too. We all have those friends (or family members) that are more dead weight then beneficial. When someone drags you down, cut the rope and let the anchor sink.

– Cultivate awesome friends – you know, those ones you meet and have tons in common with and can laugh and giggle for hours? Or those that have been with you through thick and thin for practically your whole life but you have no time for. Yeah those. They need to be cherished and brought more front and center.

– Teach a knitting class – I was in Joann’s Fabric yesterday and picked up their class schedule. I have wanted to learn to quilt for some time and figured this would be a good starting point. Apparently unless I wanted to take several hours off in the middle of the work day, I’m never learning through them. All their classes save a few are before 5pm. I am going to take some of my more awesome pieces and convince them to let me teach kids, teens and adults.

– Get a better paying job with a non-assistant title – I won’t tell you how much I make (it would probably depress you), but I need to make more. A lot more. After all, I have been working since I was 12, in the “real” work arena for 15 years (holy smokes!) and have an MBA. A freakin MBA. And it’s sitting dormant and not working for me at all. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my boss. I really have lucked out having a boss that appreciates me and tries to help as much as she can. And not just bc she got Steve and I tickets to see Bon Jovi!!! But being someone’s assistant is getting me no where. Sure, the experience is phenomenal as I do want to work in development and fundraising, but…. I need a change.

– Research FL and OH adoption classes – there’s a lot more to this one than meets the eye. We want kids. We likely will never have biological kids, but that is OK as there are thousands of children out there without families in foster care. Since we have no idea where we will be living when the stars align, I’m researching both states and downloading both states home study applications. We aren’t getting any younger. We want a family. If I don’t get off my butt and do the work, this will be something else that passes me by in life.

– Have a dinner party at least 6 times – I hate cleaning. Do I need to elaborate? OK fine. Having dinner parties and friends over requires a clean house and an organized kitchen for my crazy recipe hoarding. This will push me to not only clean regularly, but keep things clean.

– Organize, clean and make office into guest room or craft space – in our “next apartment” I have all these dreams for our clean and new space. Um, we live here now. We just signed through August. Why keep dreaming of a pretty craft space with a day bed/ couch when I can do it now?

What are your plans for the next year?


Working Out.. And Taking Control

On Saturday, we joined a gym. I haven’t belonged to a gym since.. umm… maybe 2008 or so. I mean, I worked for the YMCA, but I only worked out a handful of times in the almost 2 years I was there.

We had gone into our local Planet Fitness a little over a week ago and toured the facility. It’s pretty bare bones as far as gyms go with no pool, classes or steam room/ sauna. However it has TONS of machines running the entire length of the (huge) wall in 2 rows. They also have free wrights and those machines that all gyms have. Clearly I’ve spent very little time in gyms. But I do know this place is huge. And open during the times I want to work out. Oh, and is $10 a month for the cancel at anytime with no penalties plan. The other plan was $20 a month which included tanning beds, massage chairs, some funky infrared light machine thingy and some other perks. We opted not to do that one as there is a minimum of 3 months at the current club before transferring to another club. And since we have no idea how long we will be living here..

Monday was our first day working out. We’re definitely going to have to rearrange our gym times as by the time Steve got home, changed and we got there, it was 9:35am. In order for me to make it to Home Depot to meet my dad to drive into Coral Gables for work, I need to be in the shower by 10:15am at the latest. So, basically, we walked on the treadmills for 20 minutes with a 5 minute cool down.

This morning I am aiming to get there by 9am so I have a full hour to workout. Hopefully I can keep it up for 3-4 days a week. I know for a fact that when I actually work out (which I’m not a fan of), I lose weight pretty quickly. My biggest problem with weight is that I don’t eat properly. That is, I don’t snack, emotionally eat or randomly eat all day, I just don’t eat. Well, no, I eat when I am hungry and stop when I get full. I also don’t eat balanced meals, or at least rarely eat them.

Yeah yeah, it’s terrible. Trust me, I know. That whole bought of “anorexia” (umm, my diet pretty much consisted of diet pills and alcohol) in college and the forced Weight Watchers diet when I was 12 has done a real number on me.

Working out will hopefully kick my metabolism into normalcy and make me hungry so I start eating on a regular schedule.

27 years old |

My “physical” goal for my 35th year is to get in shape, feel better about myself and look awesome in the bridesmaids dress in Felice and Chris’ wedding. More specifically, I want to be in shape enough to actually have my body work properly again even though we are planning on adopting siblings from foster care. This also means that I will be able to run and play with our children and not get winded. And be able to strengthen my seriously weak ankles that keep spraining. Yeah, they’re holding up quite a bit of weight and never healed properly from all the sprains.

I have absolutely how much I weighed in this picture, but it was taken 8 years ago and I think it’s a good goal to have. I remember the size I wore (based on the job uniforms hanging in the closet) and that would be a pretty drastic change from where I am now. Man, I sure do wish I could go back and dye my hair and brush it better…

So now I’m off to the gym… Cheers, my friends!


Old Friends, New Opportunities

Source: via Becca on Pinterest

Yesterday was really rough for me. It started off on the bad foot, but turned around into a potentially amazing opportunity. I’m not going to say more about this opp until I hear something else about it. The outcome will be finalized in less than 2 weeks so one way or other it’ll be posted here. =D When I told Steve about it, he was pretty excited. OK, once he woke up and comprehended what I said he was. Poor guy has a messed up sleep schedule most days from his job and unwillingness to miss out on his life by sleeping.

It really helped a lot to text most of the day with my friend Marie. We’re in similar situations and wanting to make a change and she was an awesome friend and cheerleader today. Thanks Marie!

Today I am having lunch with one of my college roommates, her husband and their 4-month old little beauty. I haven’t seen Vic in what feels like forever and they happen to be in town for a few days from Ohio. It couldn’t have worked out better! Our last meeting was when I was living in Gainesville, part 2, and she came to my job to print up some stuff for their upcoming wedding. We had so much fun living together and I think she was one of my last roomies in the house I owned. My brain is a bit fried and spotty from back then from trying to graduate. No, not from bad behaviors! I gave up drinking long before graduation and never touched any drugs to this day. Go on, be proud of me!

What was I talking about?

Right, people that make me laugh and smile and make efforts to keep in touch. They’re pretty darn awesome. I am so fortunate to have so many amazing friends.


Living in the Now, With the Positive

I am going to try something new. Being positive about my life. Crazy, right? I need to make a change bc there is way too much negativity surrounding me. It is part of the reason why I haven’t been blogging. Honestly, I just don’t feel like I have anything to share.

To start the change, I began selling AVON (saving that for another post), bought a few self-help books (namely A Complaint Free World and a few by Deepak Chopra), and basically rearranged my mindset. Oh, and removing the negative people from my life as much as I can. That part is pretty difficult, but with minimal interaction, I have to make it work.

Anyone want to join me in turning our lives into better and more positive? I know there are a few of you that are struggling as well. It’s kinda like a diet, we can support each other and lift each other up.

Let me know!

Source: via Becca on Pinterest