My child

Sep162013

And in my 37th Year…

I interrupt this not-so-regularly updated adoption blog to say that in my 37th year (which, BTdubs, starts today) I plan on doing the following things (in no particular order):

Becoming a mommy to a sweet little child from foster care
Getting a job worthy of my degree, my experiences, and myself
Being the best darn wife and mommy I can be
Learning as many new web and design technologies as I can
Kicking butt on the technologies I already know
Being a better person
Learning to speak up for myself appropriately
Not letting certain people rule my mind simply bc I am related to them
See also, growing a bigger pair (sorry for that graphic!)
Sheep2Skein, push it
RS Creative Solutions, push it
Bake more
Actually make the projects I pin on Pinterest

Sep112013

“Dear Son…”

I shared this on Facebook and think the sentiment is awesome enough to share here as well..

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TWENTY THINGS A MOM SHOULD TELL HER SON

1. Play a sport. It will teach you how to win honorably, lose gracefully, respect authority, work with others, manage your time and stay out of trouble. And maybe even throw or catch.

2. You will set the tone for the sexual relationship, so don’t take something away from her that you can’t give back.

3. Use careful aim when you pee. Somebody’s got to clean that up, you know.

4. Save money when you’re young because you’re going to need it someday.

5. Allow me to introduce you to the dishwasher, oven, washing machine, iron, vacuum, mop and broom. Now please go use them.

6. Pray and be a spiritual leader.

7. Don’t ever be a bully and don’t ever start a fight, but if some idiot clocks you, please defend yourself.

8. Your knowledge and education is something that nobody can take away from you.

9. Treat women kindly. Forever is a long time to live alone and it’s even longer to live with somebody who hates your guts.

10. Take pride in your appearance.

11. Be strong and tender at the same time.

12. A woman can do everything that you can do. This includes her having a successful career and you changing diapers at 3 A.M. Mutual respect is the key to a good relationship.

13. “Yes ma’am” and “yes sir” still go a long way.

14. The reason that they’re called “private parts” is because they’re “private”. Please do not scratch them in public.

15. Peer pressure is a scary thing. Be a good leader and others will follow.

16. Bringing her flowers for no reason is always a good idea.

17. It is better to be kind than to be right.

18. A sense of humor goes a long way in the healing process.

19. Please choose your spouse wisely. My daughter-in-law will be the gatekeeper for me spending time with you and my grandchildren.

20. Remember to call your mother because I might be missing you.

Sep082013

Furnishing the Little One’s Bedroom

A few days ago I thought maybe it was time to check prices for my baby’s bedroom. After all, our very last PRIDE class is in 2 days.

First I checked Rooms To Go, then I posted a question to my FB and got a crazy amount of responses, and finally hit up IKEA at the suggestion of my MPC.

SCORE!

I priced out both twin and full beds and settled on the full. A good point was made that this will work best for older kids and we could have any age from 5 to 11 years old. If only they sold the full on the bottom/ twin on top bunk beds, I would get that in a heartbeat. I saw some at RTG but they are ridiculously expensive. The bed alone was more than the entire room at IKEA. Blerg.

So right now, I have the basics – bed, mattress, desk, dresser and nightstand – picked out. I selected a nice generic (gender neutral) green set of sheets and figure he (or she) could go to town with decorating the rest as they see fit. S/He can pick out the rugs, curtains, lamps, artwork, anything else. Well, mommy might just have to put some fun artwork in there that I create. (*ahem* Thanks, Pinterest!) Plus the blanket I’m busy knitting.

Based on this list below, is there anything I’m missing or don’t need?

Now we just need to figure out a time to get up to IKEA and have a spare $550ish in our account. We might have to rent a truck or borrow from a friend bc I’m not sure this will all fit into my car even if it’s totally cleaned out.

This ish is getting real!

Sep072013

‘Tis a Teeny Tiny World

I know, I suck as a blogger. There really hasn’t been too much going on. Except for my awesome newly discovered connection with my Mysterious Phone Caller (She told me I should refer to her this way on here.. lol)

Ready for this?

I friended her on FB and saw we had some people in common. One was my aunt. Weird, but OK as she seems to know like half of Miami. I happen to be at my aunt’s office that afternoon so I asked how she knew MPC (ha!) and she said she’s know her parents for a long time. Turns out they live down the street from each other and MPC also knows my cousins.

Weird! But that’s not all. Oh no, there’s more.

I posted something on FB and was going back and forth with one of my oldest frieds about one of our campers having something to do with it. MPC popped in to ask what camp. We went back and forth only to discover that the ONE year she was a camper there was the ONE year that I was a counselor. I attended as a camper for like 8 years prior to that.

Small world? No, tiny world!

And all bc someone told her about my blog and that she should read it.

This relates how?

We were emailing back and forth about the teeny tiny world and she said

Can you send me the specifics of what type of child you are looking for? I want to start a search to see if you can’t start some visits with potential children and try to move along the process.

*jaw drop*

*pick jaw up off keyboard* and responded then asked if she knew about the timelines. She didn’t, but said…

I really don’t know time frames but I will try to push on my end 🙂

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I love this lady!

Aug162013

Blankie Progress Post

I previously mentioned my wanting to make a blanket for our child. Well, I totally am! After much discussion with friends, I selected pale grey, deep brown and teal yarn. My pattern was either going to be blocks or a slightly nerdier Fibonacci sequence.

My nerdiness won.

There is even a spreadsheet. It calculates the number of rows and percentages.

I anxiously awaited the arrival of the yarn…

Then cast on and started knitting…

Then realized that I didn’t like the first brown striping, but didn’t feel like ripping back several rows…

And now, here we are, 13.3% completed

With this stitch (knitting every row) this blanket is going to be extremely long. My goal is for it to be at least 24″ wide, but it’s looking like it’ll be wider. The estimated 36″ long is way off. At 22 rows, it was already 6″ unstretched and about 7″ stretched.

This 256 row thing might have to be rethought out… I may cut it off after the last rounds of teal. We’ll see.

This is my project page on Ravelry for the Fletchling’s blanket.

And yeah, want something of your very own?

I happily take on commissioned projects!

Aug062013

Suddenly.. I have more cousins

Image Source

Ever since our Genogram project for class, I have been obsessing over my unknown family members. My genealogy kicks come and go every couple of months where I dig and research looking for any sliver of a relative. When my friend Sarah mentioned Geni.com, I created my free account and went to town adding family members. No surprise, mom’s side exploded as I started connecting existing trees. Almost immediately there were 4 generations dating back to the 1700s with my great-great-great-great-great grandfather… so maybe more than 4 generations.

Anyhow. Not surprising. There are some amazing genealogists in that side of the family.

Dad’s side looked sad and pathetic with him, his father, his mother and step-family. I googled my grandmother (I do this a lot) and – holy crap – I found her obituary. In it were names of her sister, brother and a few other family members.

*Flexes Google-fu muscles*

I searched, and searched and found her sister’s obituary with names of her family. Seriously, it was like hitting a winning jackpot. I googled the names I found and actually found one person on FB. I reached out to her and we’ve been chatting the last few days trying to piece things together with the help of her – and my! – family members.

This is so surreal bc I went from knowing nothing to having a bunch of family members and most of them live in Miami.

Not that it’s even remotely the same thing, but I kinda know how my future child will feel not knowing any of his family members. I was brought up in a loving family full of crazy people and still had that nagging feeling about something missing. My child won’t likely be able to do what I’ve just done and find his long lost family. We really don’t know how much information we will have about his ancestors.

I am putting together a family tree so he can see where his history is now. I know it’s not the same thing, but I hope it will comfort him just a little bit knowing that he isn’t the only adopted person in our family. Yes, I’ve discovered several adoptions and remarriages in my research.

I’d love to do Steve’s tree as well, but that’s something he needs to work on. My ancestral last names are pretty unique whereas his as much more common and I don’t even remotely know everyone’s names.

Have you done a family tree? How far back were you able to go and did you print it out? That’s my next task.. finding a big enough printer or pretty enough pre-made form to fill in.

Jul312013

Stormageddon

When I’m out driving, I “talk” to my kid in the back seat. And when I do, I call him Stormageddon… or Stormie.

Why?

[image source]

Bc I’m somewhat of a lunatic. That or a Whovian.

But seriously, I talk to him about my driving, stupid drivers, teaching him to drive, learning to drive in Miami in rush hour in a huge station wagon, vacations we’re going to take, his homework, and so much more. Better get used to it if we’re going to be stuck together in the car for over an hour to and from work as long as I’m stuck working on the beach.

Yes, I know I may be nuts, but that’s ok. The voices in my head* say this is “normal” akin to pregnant ladies talking to their bellies.

* There aren’t really voices in my head. Dearest adoption case workers that ultimately find my blog, I am not hearing voices. Promise.

Jul172013

Welcoming an Older Child Home

When couples adopt or have biological babies, they typically have a baby shower. But what to do if you’re adopting an older child? I found this fantastic website with a TON of amazing information for honoring and welcoming adopted children into your family.

After chatting with my friend Jackie a few nights ago, I totally want to have a meet my son/adoption shower for items to build his library of books and kid-friendly movies, show him all the love and support we have, and, most importantly, introduce him to his new family and our friends.

From the above-mentioned website, these are some of my favorites ideas to use. Also, I really want to find (or make) some awesome wall prints, artwork, creative bookshelves and more to make him feel really at home.

Making our own version of a “baby book‘ from the moment he came into our home (including excerpts from this blog)
A necklace with the date of their child’s birth, the date the child was placed in their home, and the date the adoption was finalized by the court.
Or maybe a plaque with these dates
Or a picture frame to display the photo with the judge and entire team on their adoption day.
Some families have a fun sense of humor and would enjoy a t-shirt or bumper sticker that says, “Yes, I’m their REAL mom.”
Others are more sentimental and like verses such as, “You grew in my heart.”
A birth announcement only works after a child is born. What does a family do when they want to announce the addition of an adopted child to their family? Not everyone is handy enough with a computer to make their own invitations and announcements. They may not have time, either.
Anything with the child’s new name (almost all children have at least a part of their name changed after adoption) is very exciting and meaningful.

There are a few other sites with great ideas to welcome your new little (or not so little) one into your home and family.

Adoption / Foster Care Gifts and Crafts on About.com

Gifts for a former foster mom

Foster Care Adoption Books

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