adoption

Mar062011

Adoption Progress.. Every Little Bit Helps

Saturday at Word Camp Miami was aMAZing! I’ll be doing an in-depth recap on that later with pictures and some stuff I learned. Needless to say, I am crazy excited about today and getting some stuff implemented around here.

Saturday night, we started talking and eventually got onto the topic of adoption. Actually, it was from a blog lead I got at WCM from one of the guys I met. I started reading the blog earlier and it is about a Caucasian family that was in the process of adopting their second child. The first child was a little Caucasian girl and the second is a little African-American girl. They also have a biological son. I flipped through most of her blog reading snippets here and there to Steve, then flipped over to AdoptUsKids.org to do yet another Child Search.

I would read off the names and ages, quickly scan the profiles, then show him the pictures.. And then do a more in-depth read of the profiles for why (physically/ mentally/ emotionally) the children were in the system. His comments were always the same: “Why are they in foster care? What happened that they are now in the system? Where are their families?” Rightfully so as I’m yet to come across a profile answering those questions.

Actually, no. Tonight I found one that stated some possible causes and that potential adoptive parents needed to know about those topics and the adverse effects.

This exercise led to questions of, since we might be able to actually choose, do we want 2 boys, 2 girls, or 1 of each? Yes, We want 2 siblings. I *think* we decided on one of each, but there’s plenty of time to figure that out.

The comment “we need to get things rolling if we’re going to do this” was uttered. While, yes, I still would love to have an infant, I am so happy over this adoption process! Biological kids aren’t ruled out at all, we’re just not going to focus on that until I get insurance again. From that point, we’ll see what the feasibility of things occurring naturally are and make the decision then.

Image source

Feb262011

[Re-]Defining Motherhood

Several conversations with both friends and Steve over the last few days have got me thinking about motherhood. I used to think that I couldn’t be a mom unless I got pregnant and gave birth. Now I, of course, know that there are other options like adoption, foster-adoption, IVF, and surrogacy. Becca of younger years would never have dreamed having children any way other than by giving birth herself.

Over the past few months, I have come to not only accept adoption as how our children will join our family, but embrace it. I’m sure a huge part of this is my [suspected] broken reproductive system, but more on that later. As mentioned in the last non-new-blog post, we are heavily leaning towards foster-adoption. This hasn’t changed and our friend is helping gather the info we’ll need for this to happen. We are certainly no experts on this topic and have a lot to learn, but feel it might be our best option.

It’s starting to dawn on me that I don’t need to give birth to be a mother. Yes, I’m a bit slow, but pregnancy was always a part of my future when I was a child. I already mother all the little ones in my life and I obviously didn’t give birth to them, so why put constraints on my own children?

It’s tough for me, and my ridiculous reproductive health is making it worse. In short, I haven’t had a period in over 90 days. Yes, I’ve taken a bunch of pregnancy tests both at home, the clinic place, and the ER and every one of them has read a resounding not pregnant. If I actually was pregnant, then this kid would be made of steel or something seeing as I’ve been X-ray’d and taken hard core drugs for both the flu and pneumonia over the last month. Oh, and before I get all the advice to lose weight, I am working on it. However, I’m fairly certain that it’s not a weight thing. For the first 11 years of having a period, it was never ever regular. We’re talking at most 5 times a years and lasting for weeks at a time. Talk about hell for a junior high and high schooler!

Anyhow, not much else to talk about. Right now it’s just a lot of adoption research. Also, we’re taking a database class together which is a little time consuming. And of course, this new blog design which had sucked up my entire life the last few weeks. Not to mention writing thank you notes, sleeping, working, and little bits of knitting here and there when I’m tired of doing everything else.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Feb222011

Adoption Talk and… a Zucchini Recipe

Yes, I know these topics don’t mix… at all! 😉

I know it’s been quiet around here lately. To be honest, I don’t really have a lot to talk about.

We have been discussing children – both biological and foster adoption – quite a lot lately. More than likely we will be adopting a “sibling group” of 2 kids. As I want a little one and he wants an older one, if we can get like a pre-teen/ teenager and a 2-4 year old, we’d both be happy. Granted, I have no idea when this will all take place. We’re not to that level just yet. We are, however, extremely fortunate to have a friend that licenses foster homes and knows the in’s and out’s of that part of the system. We did decide that fostering before adoption makes a lot more sense than flat out adoption. To our current thinking, it would give us all a chance to make sure the kids would be a good fit with us. This may be the wrong way to think, but there is still a lot of research to be done!

In other new, I have been cooking a LOT! Our new crock pot gets used 2-3 times a week with all sorts of delicious meat, pork or chicken recipes. A few I’ve followed recipes (or rather adapted) and a few I’ve just plain made up. The latest was an adaption and by far my favorite… shredded beef and veggies over garlic brown rice. DELISH!

I’ve been perusing the SparkRecipes.com website quite a lot and most of them are from there. Today, I decided to put the zucchini’s I bought last week to good use with this recipe. Zucchini Crisps recipe adapted slightly. My changes are in pink.

Ingredients

1 medium fresh zucchini (2 medium)
1/4 cup egg beaters or egg whites (I used 2 whole eggs & prob woulda been fine with 1)
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese (½ cup as I doubled the zucchini)

Directions

Pre-heat oven to 425.
Slice zucchini in round slices. Make slices thicker for more al dente and thinner for a softer, more cooked texture. (About 1/4” is the perfect size)
Pour parmesan cheese into a zip lock baggie or freezer bag. Dip zucchini slices into egg beater and place in cheese bag. Close bag, shake until all pieces are coated and place on a non-stick baking sheet. Feel free to shake remaining bag mixture over zucchini. (I dipped and shook in 2 parts bc I only have quart baggies.)
Bake for 15 minutes or until cheese starts to melt and brown.
Tastes great with a marinara or ranch dipping sauce! (Or plain!)

Number of Servings: 2 (4… or lots of snacks. Mine made roughly 30 pieces. YMMV.)

I had a few with a plateful of brown rice and shredded beef with veggies for lunch. Little slice of heaven.

So how have you been? Are you adopted or contemplating adoption? What are your thoughts on foster adoption? I’d love to get your input!

Jan032011

Getting Back into the Blogging Groove

Hello my friends!

How was your first weekend in 2011? Ours was extremely low-key, same as the few hours before and after we rang it in. We cooked, talked, went to Barnes & Noble (one of our favorite places), had dinner at Mario’s (another favorite), I knit, he practiced his Rosetta Stone Spanish, and we slept in quite a bit. Steve is back at work tonight, so it’s just me, the animals and a CSI marathon on Spike.

I’m currently doing a test knit for a pair of socks on Ravelry. Are any of you Ravelry members? Hit me up if you are! I’m rbf42 on there. The part of the socks I’m working on:

We discussed adoption a whole lot more as well. Right now we’re really in a bad financial position to bring a child into our lives. We really want to pay off/ down our debt, both have high[er] paying jobs, have a larger house (room for a nursery) and a few other things. Will they happen? No idea. Will we get pregnant before they happen? No idea. Will we still adopt in 2-ish years? Absolutely. Well, really no idea as it may be less or more of a time frame. Only time will really tell on that one.

Right now I’m playing the waiting game. During the last week I have been feeling like major crap with headaches, heartburn, indigestion, nausea and sheer exhaustion. Seriously, I could sleep for a week and still be exhausted. Every time I posted these symptoms, my girlfriends would chime in about those sounding familiar. As it turns out, they are also symptoms of depression and serious under eating. I am guilty of both lately. Who knows which it is, even though I’d be willing to place a wager on the depression/ under eating as the culprit.

Well, tomorrow it’s back to the grind. I know I am fortunate to have a job, even though it is only a few hours a week. So, here’s to an amazing year for all of us!

Jan012011

Bring It On, 2011! *

Dear 2011,

You should know that I have big hopes for you!

This is our third New Years together, and our first as a married couple. The last 2 NYEs were spent at Carolina Alehouse, just the 2 of us, watching football, the ball drop, and sipping champagne out of plastic cups with silly hats on our heads. This year, we were invited to a party at a friends house, but we opted to stay home together. We had pork chops, veggies, black eyed peas and just chilled out together. And that’s all that matters.

A few years ago, I quit making resolutions. I never follow through, so why bother? For 2011, I have expectations of things I’d love to have happen during the next 12 months.

For starters, I fully plan on being a mommy during your tenure, or at least pregnant. I am fully aware that this might not happen, but a girl can dream, right? 2013 is the year we start adoption, but that’s not to say we won’t have a baby before that. As I snuggle with our 2 year old puppy, I often wonder how she will handle a human child. She is very much my baby girl and is a total lovey-dovey snugglebug. What the hell is she going to do when there is a baby on my chest sleeping and she tries to climb up there?

I also want, no, need to find a job. A full-time, full benefits, high enough paying that I can cover all my bills and half our house bills type job. Oh, and hopefully a 401K so we can start saving for our future. Oh how I can’t wait to have insurance again. And a paycheck that covers more than my insurance and car payment. I bet my creditors can’t wait for that either.

Along with this dream, I want to have a bigger kitchen and, so much more importantly, a dishwasher! We have a great set of new dishes and serving dishes and, of course, the gorgeous KitchenAid. I also want to be able to keep the house clean enough to have parties or at least friends over. Sometimes I wish we could make more friends so I could bake and cook for and plan parties.

More than anything, I’d love to get the ball rolling on my yarn shop, Sheep 2 Skein, but I’m thinking that may be a 2012-13 plan. There is a lot of research, saving, and everything else associated with opening a business and getting a stash of merchandise that I just don’t know about yet.

It would also be lovely to sharpen my knitting skills and learn to quilt and crochet. I don’t think I’ll be buying much more yarn until I actually use up the 5–ish bins of yarn I currently own. Oh who am I kidding, if I used up half of them I’d be happy with myself.

I know we want to go back to Vegas for our 1 year anniversary and travel a bit more. Plans on affording this trip are underway, which also means we’re working on repairing both our credit score. Yeah, this move has hurt us more than I care to admit.

There are so many people here to meet and several of them I am FB and Twitter friends with already. I resolve to get out and meet them! Might as well make the best of our time in SoFla, right?

There are certainly more expectations that I have for the next 12 months, but they’ll come at a later date I’m sure.

* Steve has a problem with my title, like I want 2011 to fight with me or something. Nope, I just want a better year! LOL

Cheers!

Dec272010

Relaxing Weekend & A Big Decision

Hello dear blog friends! I hope y’all had a wonderful family and friend filled holiday weekend. Ours was pretty low-key as we didn’t travel anywhere. Friday night we went to my brother’s girlfriends’ family’s house to celebrate Nochebuena. Never before had I been to a pig roast and it was a lot of fun – as all their parties are – and the food was amazing. Certainly not for the vegetarians out there. We had loads of pork, boiled yucca, black beans, rice, salad, fruit, veggies and tons and tons of desserts. On Saturday, we slept super late, met with my parents about party logistics (post later today), then went to visit my cousins from DC and their ridiculously adorable 16 month old daughter.

We also made the decision to try to conceive (TTC) and, regardless of our child situation, we will begin the adoption process in 2 years. We do still want a lot of kids. The adopting will be a child (or sibling pair) no younger than about 5 or 6 years old. We want time to bond with them, but don’t necessarily want to adopt babies. There’s so many older kids also needing homes and we want to help them.

There was also lots of job searching, a tentative decision to focus on a few select areas of the country to move too, did about 843 loads of laundry, and baked a ton!

I hope your weekend was fantastic as well!

Dec212010

Biological Clock Made Worse by 16 & Pregnant

I have a not-so-secret vice. I love 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom. The girls on Teen Mom are like “friends” of mine to the point that Steve and I talk about them on a somewhat regular basis when something similar happened in our lives. OK, not so regularly, but you know what I mean.

This season I’ve only sorta watched 16 & Pregnant, but when I saw that tonight’s episode was 90 minutes AND about adoption, I knew I had to watch. I have never cried during a show more then during this one. I can’t even imagine how difficult a decision putting your child up for adoption was for a 16 year old, but wow. Ashley handled herself quite well and, in the end, she made the right decision for her baby. The good thing is her family adopted the baby so seeing her was easier than for Caitlyn and Tyler.

It’s no secret that we want to adopt. We’ve been discussing it a lot more recently. I don’t know when it will happen or how many we will have biologically before starting the process. We have also said that it doesn’t matter how many children we end up with and how they arrived (adoption vs biologically), we will love them all individually. I truly don’t understand why someone would fight for a child to adopt and make a member of their family only to push them aside bc they have a child biologically.

I sprained my ankle last Sunday and while I desperately needed to take pain pills and pain relievers, I was really hesitant to do so. The possibility of my being pregnant is pretty slight, but I still don’t want to risk it. Am I insane? Yes. But I also know what medication can do to a fetus so early on. Instead I keep it up as much as I can and keep an ice pack on it. 3 days ago a big bruise surfaced on the outside of my heel. This morning I noticed more bruising at the base of 4 of my toes. Sexy. But yet, I won’t take pain meds of any kind.

Yes, I’m that worried. I’m 34 years old and never had a [real] pregnancy scare. I track everything with an iPhone app and am heavily considering buying a basal body thermometer to really track things. The last few days I’ve had a low-grade fever, but sort of wonder if it was simply ovulation. Who knows. I’m not up on all that stuff yet since we aren’t “trying” to get pregnant right now. We’re not not trying either, but that’s besides the point.

In a perfect world we would have insurance and be able to support a baby and all costs associated with a pregnancy. In reality, breastfeeding and cloth diapers will remove a big chunk of costs for the first few months.

So much to think about and do before we can get pregnant or start the adoption process.

Nov212010

Getting Pregnant Over 35 vs Adoption

I know, I’m not the best when it comes to picking topics.

For the record, I am actually still 34. I turned 34 2 months ago, but since I’m close enough, and likely wouldn’t be getting pregnant for a few months at minimum, this research totally counts for my situation.

I’ve been doing all sorts of research on pregnancy, taking charge of my fertility (thanks for that book reco, ladies!), and getting pregnant after 35. I’ve become startlingly aware of the odds of getting pregnant within 6 months of actively trying. For over 35s, it’s something like 10-12% which is crazy low, not to mention disheartening. Women in their 20s have upwards of 50% within 1-2 months. Really, body. Why must you suck so much? Oh, and that 10-12% is reduced by being “overweight;” it’s in quotes because it refers to any poundage that makes you overweight.

And me? I’m definitely in the overweight category. I don’t believe in the BMI charts in any way, shape, or form, but rather what my mirror says. To me, they’re a complete farce. My last doctor said they’re complete BS and to ignore them whole heartedly. I’ve stopped weighing myself as numbers don’t mean anything; only my being healthy does. However, getting pregnant is easier if you’re not overweight. Disheartening again.

I wouldn’t change waiting until my 30s to get married for anything. I definitely needed the extra time to grow up, gain perspective, and know myself better. Not very many people know that I was engaged previously; at 21. I guarantee that I would have been divorced very soon afterwards. It was a horrible, rotten relationship and he treated me like absolute dirt. But I was young and stupid… and he was my first real relationship so what did I know. But I digress. My life is infinitely better for staying unmarried until my mid-30s.

Also, the older you are, the higher the likelihood is for birth defects, both physical and mental. I think. I’m going off memory here, so I might be wrong. But basically, we’re trying to decide if we’re going to take a chance or just start the adoption process. We both want children and always considered adoption if after X years we hadn’t conceived. It seems as though those X years will be way less than before. We hadn’t picked out a number yet, so it remains “X years.”

But it also means that getting pregnant will be more difficult. Sure, I always wanted to get pregnant and birth a baby, but am I being selfish with that wish? If there are so many kids in need of loving homes, shouldn’t we just go that route off the bat? My friend Sarah and her husband always planned on adopting and I think it’s totally brilliant. I’ve participated in several adoption discussions on Twitter and it’s pretty eye-opening.

Sigh. Getting older sucks. And I’m depressing myself with all this research, even if I do love the topic!

Recent Posts